Wednesday 10 September 2014

Today's Daily Brain Teaser (Sep 11, 2014)

Synonym Safari 3



Replace each word or words in parentheses with a one-word synonym to decipher a common phrase.



1. (Diversity) is the (zest) of (existence).



2. (Training) (creates) (excellence).



3. (Adoration) is (sightless).





Check Braingle.com for the answer.





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Mr. President

yd2






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Sweet Ride Of The Day

yd1






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The average British person will spend a year…

The average British person will spend a year of their life hungover.






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Many personal checks written by Marlon Brando were often never cashed…

Many personal checks written by Marlon Brando were often never cashed as his signature was usually worth more than the amount on the check.






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When McDonald’s cut the price of the Big Mac by 75% in 1997…

When McDonald’s cut the price of the Big Mac by 75% in 1997 when bought w/ fries and a drink, the sales actually dropped because consumers were “confused”.






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A captive killer whale at MarineLand discovered it could regurgitate…

Killer-whale A captive killer whale at MarineLand discovered it could regurgitate fish onto the surface of the water, attracting sea gulls, and then eat the birds. Four others then learned to copy the behavior.






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A California Hospital Charges $223,000 For Joint…

A California hospital charges $223,000 for joint replacement surgery that costs $5,300 in Oklahoma.






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If you are an alcoholic at an airport, and feel tempted to head to one of the…

If you are an alcoholic at an airport, and feel tempted to head to one of the bars, instead have “Bill W.” paged over the loudspeaker. This is an AA code known by its members; if another AA member hears the page, he/she will come meet you and help you stay away from the bar.






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Termites eat through wood two times faster when…

Termites eat through wood two times faster when listening to rock music.






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Littlewood’s Law states that if humans are awake for at least eight hours…

Littlewood’s Law states that if humans are awake for at least eight hours every day, and we experience one event or incident per second, and if extraordinary or seemingly unlikely events are “one in a million”, every person should experience an incredible moment every 35 days.






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Finally, A Song Which Asks: Why Aren't Lasers Doing Cool Shit?

It's the 21st century. And yet we only seem to use lasers for dentistry and hair removal.



Why don't we have laser force fields, laser guns and all the other cool s*** we were promised in the movies?



It's an important point to make, we feel. And thankfully, musical comedy troupe The Axis of Awesome - they of Four-Chord Pop Song fame - are here to make it. Hurrah! http://ift.tt/eA8V8J



from UK Comedy - The Huffington Post http://ift.tt/1twUuBP

At Last, 'Godzilla' Gets An Honest Trailer

Hoorah! It's another Honest Trailer!



"Get ready for the tease of the summer, bringing you the king of the monsters as you've never seen him before: obscured by water... hidden by smoke... and shrouded in near constant darkness."



Yes, film fans: if you were a teensy-weensy bit disappointed by the summer blockbuster 'Godzilla' - or even if you never saw it because you thought it looked a it rubbish - then this is the trailer for you!



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from UK Comedy - The Huffington Post http://ift.tt/1CRRoyU

This Giant Pendulum May Be The Most Beautiful And Mesmerising Thing You See Today

Because science.



This pendulum wave contraption - made up of 16 bowling balls hanging from a giant wooden frame - sits in the grounds of a house in the mountains of North Carolina.



As Maria Ikenberry, who uploaded the video to YouTube, explains: "The length of time it takes a ball to swing back and forth one time to return to its starting position is dependent on the length of the pendulum, not the mass of the ball. A longer pendulum will take longer to complete one cycle than a shorter pendulum. The lengths of the pendula in this demonstration are all different and were calculated so that in about 2:40, the balls all return to the same position at the same time."



And as you can see, it's pretty amazing when they do so.



"There are some small scale versions of this demonstration that can be purchased commercially," she adds, "but if you want a 20’ version like this, you’ll have to make your own!"



(Via Colossal) http://ift.tt/eA8V8J



from UK Comedy - The Huffington Post http://ift.tt/1lTfi7M

Musician Andrew Huang Covers Nena's '99 Red Balloons' – Using Only Red Balloons

Here's a slice of joy for '80s children! And, indeed, everybody else.



It's 'noisemaker/shapeshifter' Andrew Huang's latet song challenge - to cover the '80s pop hit '99 Red Balloons' (or '99 Luftballons', to give it its original title) using, yes, red balloons.



This, meine Damen und Herren, is what the internet was made for.



(Via Laughing Squid)

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from UK Comedy - The Huffington Post http://ift.tt/1pOM4Ce

Motorcyclist Makes Miraculous Escape By Sliding Under Lorry

You know that thing in movies where a biker slides underneath a lorry (or train, or other large vehicle) in order to avoid being hit by it?



Well, that just happened in real life.



A Brazilian motorcyclist who came face to face with a lorry on the BR-324 motorway in Bahia managed to slide underneath the truck as it crossed his path. And as you can see from the CCTV footage, he amazingly then got up and walked off to collect his bike, which had ended up in the middle of the carriageway.



According to Daily Picks And Flicks, local police are still searching for the driver of the lorry. In the meantime, we think the biker should consider a career as a stunt man...



SEE ALSO: The Ultimate Compilation Of Close Calls

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from UK Comedy - The Huffington Post http://ift.tt/WI9Fxo

Celebrity Nude Pictures - A Survival Guide

2014-09-09-cat_1jpg.jpg



There are times during the course of any modern, loving relationship when you may feel the need to celebrate your love through the medium of photography, or perhaps, the making of amateur motion pictures. This is nothing to be ashamed of, and what happens in the privacy of your own home, or perhaps, workplace should remain private and confidential.



However what if said pictures should become available to a far wider audience than initially anticipated? What should you do? How should you react?



To help navigate this perilous social minefield we have prepared this handy etiquette guide.



1) Establish Validity

Take a moment to perform a personal stocktake. Is the person pictured actually you? More importantly is the person pictured obviously you? Check for any identifying physical features such as tattoos, piercings or birthmarks in the shape of Cyprus. Check geographical features. If the person pictured is lying on the chintz Cabriole couch your mother gave you just before she died, or frolicking with Buddy your three-year-old German Shepherd, then denying it might prove difficult. It could also signal you have security issues that far supersede the changing of an icloud password.



2) Establish Exposure Level

Consider the image from a purely aesthetic point of view. On a scale of 1 to 10, with one being grainy out of focus shots taken over the top of an ornamental topiary, and ten being unorthodox use of a root vegetable, how memorable are you being? Are you doing anything that may cause social ostracization, a new entry in the urban dictionary, or possibly creation of the hashtag #whatinthenameofhellaretheycoveredin. If so perhaps take a moment to indulge in a prolonged and lengthy explanation to close family and friends.



3) Call Upon Co-Stars

Now might be an opportune time for a conversation or brief social visit with any other featured players/performers. This could be your wife, husband, or perhaps even a life partner for those living in parts of the world that have yet to legalise marriage between adults of the same gender, such as North Carolina or Russia. If your co-star isn't your wife, husband, or life partner, but you do indeed have a wife, husband or life partner, then a courtesy call to them at this juncture might also prove wise.



4) Maintain a Noble Silence

Saying nothing whilst you undertake a conscious uncoupling from Twitter until the coast is clear, is a time proven tactic that may serve you well. So before rushing boldly forward into battle embrace a moment of serene reflection as you gird your loins for what is to come. Remember however that there is a difference between remaining cool and aloof, and skulking off to a corner and stamping your feet.



5) Take Action

The time has now come to finally take action. Choices in this category vary from confirming or denying authenticity, to challenging everyone on social media to a duel. Should you decide to confirm authenticity be sure to do so with your head held high, voice clear and un-quivering, or perhaps with a moment of self-deprecating humour. Should you decide to deny authenticity then do so loudly and frequently and try to make sure your face isn't actually visible behind the tumescent member of a famous sporting personality. Remember however to be 'on brand.' Are you a fiery go-getter who can spin this into a tale of empowerment by releasing your own artistically nude picture of you frolicking with Buddy the three-year-old German Shepherd? Or have you done a lot of work for Disney that may in fact be drying up in the not to distant future?



Whichever one you are, remember, that while your privacy has been cruelly violated, you can and will emerge victorious.



Dan Miles is the Cult bestselling author of Filthy Still - A tale of travel, sex and perfectly made cocktails. http://ift.tt/WI9HW2



from UK Comedy - The Huffington Post http://ift.tt/WI9Icg

April Fool's and Sweat in Hong Kong

2014-09-09-Queen_Elizabeth_Flag_of_Cunard_Line_Tallinn_July_20111.jpg



By Genevieve Frew (AUS)



Right Royal Fools



I thought this was a very good April Fool's day prank that was played upon the passengers aboard Cunard's Queen Elizabeth, whilst I was on board in 2012.



This is the notice that appeared in the daily bulletin on 1st April:



IMPORTANT NOTICE: BUNKERING OPERATION



During our last bunkering operation in Singapore on the 24th March we took delivery of thousands of tons of contaminated heavy fuel oil. This fuel is unusable for our diesel electric motors and therefore until we reach Mumbai we need to use QUEEN ELIZABETH's Gas Turbines.



These powerful auxiliary motors are normally only used to supplement our power and therefore we carry a limited supply of fuel for them. Fortunately due to their ecologically sound design we can use a variety of household and everyday items as potential fuel sources. The most effective of these is the lotic gas produced from the burning of suntan lotion. We need your help. We have a receptacle in the Grand Lobby on deck one and if everyone onboard donates a squirt of suntan lotion then we calculate that we will be able to produce enough lotic gas to power the Gas Turbines and help us reach Mumbai on time. Thank you for your support with this unusual situation - together we can ensure a timely arrival in Mumbai.



We need your suntan lotion.



Sweat



Hong Kong looks so glamorous in the brochures. They promise you exotic delights, inexpensive shopping and a superb nightlife combined with the history and the mystery of the east.



Nobody mentions the sweat!



I guess it's difficult to capture sweat in photographs, and who wants to travel eight hours in compressed air to arrive at your destination and... sweat?



I presume that the emphasis on clothes shopping comes from the need to rapidly replace rotting garments and the delight in purchasing duty-free perfumes is to purloin the pong.



Attractive as shopping is, the body acclimatises quickly and soon you are cool, then cooler, then shivering and start trying on coats. Freezing, you push open the vacuum-sealed doors to the outside world.



Back on the steaming streets you are jostled along by the crowd, who don't seem to realise that the quicker you move, the more you sweat.



Sweat is heavy; just like the precariously positioned air-conditioners jutting out from every window, and you look at them longingly. You can't try on any more clothes and you can forget trying on any shoes with those swollen feet!



Nothing left to do but to go back to the hotel, have another shower, turn on the TV and order room service.



Then snuggle down under the blankets (in the air-conditioned room) and look longingly at the glossy brochures (supplied by the marketers and merchandisers) of people doing what you have been doing all day - without a single, solitary sign of sweat!



These true stories were originally published on bytestories which is a site 100% dedicated to sharing short, byte-sized stories from yesteryear (or yesterday). Anyone can contribute. The most popular stories get featured. WEBSITE http://ift.tt/WI9FgC



from UK Comedy - The Huffington Post http://ift.tt/1tK4TxP

The World's Most Cautious Driver Chains His Car To Railings When He Parks

'There's a fine line between cautious and ridiculous,' writes eBaum's World.



And this man, we feel, is erring slightly on the side of the latter.



Still, belt and braces, eh? http://ift.tt/eA8V8J



from UK Comedy - The Huffington Post http://ift.tt/1rG2RsI

Leadership Lessons of the Selfie Monkey

"Wherever we look upon this earth, the opportunities take shape within the problems."



These inspiring words from entrepreneur Nelson A. Rockefeller struck a chord this week. The quiet end-of-summer feeling that pervades St Albans means it's also a quiet time for Geoffrey Wadhurst Coaching Limited. This could have easily been a time to get depressed about my company's prospects but instead I chose to focus on my blogging and how to improve it to build my social graph.



Since I don't seem to be getting the volume of C-suite execuitive coaching leads I'd hoped for - in spite of my presence on the Huffington Post - I've engaged some expert help from Will, a highly-regarded St Albans social media coach. He's been invaluable in providing basic blogging hints to raise my profile, particularly as I seem to struggle when it comes to finding topics that will catch the eye of the online masses.



"Look out for a celebrity that's just died," Will suggested. "Then craft a blog about the eight leadership lessons from their life. Blogs like that go down a storm on LinkedIn Pulse."



When I suggested that using someone's recent passing to raise my profile was in poor taste, Will put me at my ease. "Of course it's not," he reassured me. "Everybody does it."



He also gave me another useful gem about blogging which, in the spirit of openness, I'm happy to share. "Include a photo - that will hugely increase the number of hits you get." Then we got into the whole copyright thing. Apparently you have to filter on Google Images for pictures with creative commons licence. This means you can use them for free - which is of course great for thrifty entrepreneurs such as me trying to conserve cash in the start-up phase of their business.



Coincidentally, the issue of creative commons licence came up in a request for help that hit my inbox recently. While I was hoping for an executive coaching enquiry from a C-suite executive, it is still nevertheless nice to be asked for help in any form so I am pleased to mention my LinkedIn contact Phil who is helping out the British photographer behind the selfie monkey picture that so charmed everybody when it came out. Because the monkey picked up the camera and took the picture itself, Wikimedia claim the photographer doesn't own the image, something he has taken up with m'learned friends. In the meantime, Phil is trying to help the photographer who is giving away free canvas prints here. For every print ordered he will donate $1.70 to the endangered crested macaques.



When I forwarded Phil's email to Will, he sided with Wikimedia. "The monkey took the picture."



"But the photographer spent ages setting it up," I replied. "Does that mean the monkey owns the copyright."



"Nope. Only a human can own the copyright."



"So it's therefore free for everybody to use?"



"Exactly," said Will. "That's the point of the internet. Everything should be free. It's terrible that people should exploit it for cynical commercial gain. Oh, I've just noticed Joan Rivers has shuffled off. If you're quick you can knock out a blog on LinkedIn Pulse."



Alas, I was not quick enough as Pulse was already saturated with thinly disguised profile-raising tributes. When I returned to my email to check for more coaching requests, there was another message from Will.



"Hi Geoffrey. Please find attached my invoice for your Advanced Blogging Coaching Package."



[Image from Wikimedia] (not the disputed one) http://ift.tt/eA8V8J



from UK Comedy - The Huffington Post http://ift.tt/1lSSNzO

How To Keep A Puppy Amused For Hours

Take one puppy.



One lead.



One chair.



And sit back... (not in the chair).





SEE ALSO: How To Keep A Cat Amused For Hours





(Via SayOMG)

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from UK Comedy - The Huffington Post http://ift.tt/1lSSNjo

Brain Teaser 9/10/2014

It was the middle of the winter in Scandinavia, and the poor boy, sick with a cold, was lying in bed. He woke up in the night, but he knew that the night lasted from 3:00 P.M. to 9:00 A.M. at that time of year. The boy wearily glanced at his clock and, thinking it said 4:42, buried his head back in the pillow. But as he fell asleep he realized he hadn't distinguished the hour hand from the minute hand. If it wasn't 4:42 in the morning, what other time (or times) could it have been?

Solution

||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

Download The Best Sudoku Games





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Cats Bullying Humans - The Ultimate Compilation

Thank you, American cousins, for making the world finally pay attention to a very real threat.



That threat is, of course, cats.



Because they're not taking our running of the world lying down, you know. Oh no.



Although as the ending to the video shows, it's maybe just a case of a few - or possibly lots of - bad apples ruining the barrel...

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from UK Comedy - The Huffington Post http://ift.tt/WS2q6n

'Celebrity Big Brother' - An Unusually Depressing Affair

This year's Celebrity Big Brother is an unusually depressing affair. When I first watched it I could not recognise a single person on it apart from Gary Busey, whom I'd watched in slack-jawed amazement on a US show called Celebrity Rehab. I had to Google the cast to find out who they were (never a good sign on a "celeb" show) and now I can fill you in should you be equally confused.



The problem is that the original concept of "celeb" reality shows was to mix a set of different "celebs" together so that you could see what they were really like behind their public facades. In Celebrity Big Brother almost everyone is "famous" for being in their own reality shows like TOWIE, Geordie Shore, Made In Chelsea, Benefits Street etc. This means that we already know what they are like. That is the point of the shows they are already on. It's very confusing.



Anyway, there is a trout-faced girl from TOWIE who has done a sex tape, A Californian blonde from Made In Chelsea and a Geordie from Geordie Shore. They are all eminently forgettable. Then there is White Dee from Benefits Street who, ironically, is probably the most normal and well-adjusted person in the house. There is an appalling strutting peacock called James from Strictly Come Dancing - a man more pleased with himself it would be hard to find. Why Audley Harrison the ex-boxer, doesn't deck him, I have no idea? For the first time in his career, he would have the support of the nation should he choose to do so. There is an Irish woman whom I believe is related to the thick one from Westlife. She however doesn't ever say anything as she apparently has personal issues that she doesn't want to discuss on telly (surely an issue she might have considered before appearing on the show?)



Gary Busey is undoubtedly entertaining but only in the way that some people enjoy watching fatal car crashes. In my opinion, he is mentally ill and should not be on this show. He is unbalanced, seemingly incapable of looking after himself and exists in a weird world of his own. He is passed from reality show to reality show like some crazed time bomb. One day he will really go off and the producers of whatever show he happens to be on at that time will probably face some jail time. I thought shows like this had psychiatrists who assessed whether someone was stable enough to appear on it? Mind you, Gillian McKeith managed to get cleared for my series of I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here!, so go figure...



The real star of the show is George Gilbey. The irony of this is that George has been plucked from Channel 4's wonderful series Gogglebox, in which the viewers of telly become the stars. Now, George has stopped appearing on telly watching telly to appear on the telly being watched. Because of this he has been fired from his telly job watching the telly. Confused? So is television right now. Ah well, George will win, because he is a nice ordinary bloke and TV will continue to slowly eat itself. Burp... http://ift.tt/eA8V8J



from UK Comedy - The Huffington Post http://ift.tt/1lSG0gS

Today in History for 10th September 2014

Historical Events


1869 - Baptist minister supposedly invents rickshaw in Yokohama, Japan

1882 - 1st international conference to promote anti-semitism meets Dresden Germany (Congress for Safeguarding of Non-Jewish Interests)

1974 - Portugal recognizes independence of Rep of Guinea-Bissau

1976 - 2 airliners collide over Yugoslavia, kills all 176 aboard

1984 - Sean O'Keefe (11) is youngest to cycle across US (24 days)

1997 - Discovery buys Travel Channel for $20 million


More Historical Events »


Famous Birthdays


1916 - Niall MacDermott, lawyer/politician

1939 - Greg Mullavey, Buffalo NY, actor (Tom-Mary Hartman, Rituals)

1944 - Thomas Allen, British opera singer

1950 - Don Powell, England, rock drummer (Slade)

1957 - Kate Burton, Geneva Switzerland, actress (Ice Storm, August)

1979 - Jacob Young, American actor and singer


More Famous Birthdays »


Famous Deaths


1931 - Dmitri Egorov, Russian mathematician (b. 1869)

1931 - Alfonso Randano, composer, dies at 78

1942 - Nachman N "Neddy" Bamberg, actor, dies in Auschwitz at 63

1972 - Sidney Pegler, cricket leg spinner (leading S Afr prior to WWI), dies

1995 - Molly Mary Hyde, cricketer, dies at 81

2000 - Zaib-un-Nissa Hamidullah, Pakistani journalist and writer. (b. 1921)


More Famous Deaths »






from Today in History | HistoryOrb.com http://ift.tt/QyYeRX

Amazing New Record Breakers Make The 2015 Guinness World Records Book