Monday 10 November 2014

Today's Daily Brain Teaser (Nov 11, 2014)

Wise Cow II



Today Mooey has a challenging test from his mentor. He must spell all the words correctly. If he does, he will become a mentor, and teach other cows! Mooey studied as hard as he could the night before his challenge. He is on the last word of the list, and is scared! He is sure that the first 19 words are correct, but the last word is always a secret bonus word. Can you help Mooey?



Mentor: The last word is actually two words. It is your name. (Mooey's last name was Mooer)



Mooey was shocked! The bonus word was always extra-hard! He was just about to scrape "Mooey Mooer" in the mud, when he thought of something. It ended up making him a mentor. What did Mooey scrape in the mud?





Check Braingle.com for the answer.





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Apple CEO Tim Cook Comes Out and I Wish There Wasn't Such a Fuss

2014-11-10-sAPPLEsmall1.jpg



Apple CEO Tim Cook recently came out to explain why he's proud to be gay, and I personally have a mammoth problem with it.



Every time I read an article on the subject, glance at a headline, or see his smiling face on the news I cringe.



It's not just because new Apple products seem to be getting less like actual upgrades and more like flatter, bigger and slower versions of their predecessors, or that my own technology, "Strawberry" has failed to take off. It's a far superior fruit to an apple, and although my products so far are very limited edition iPhones with cracked screens that I've dipped in red paint, sales are still at zero.



This is completely confounding to me. For the last three weeks I've been listening to self-help seminars. I've got the confidence and belief that they repeatedly tell me is all I need, and I've yet to see any success. I'm beginning to believe it's all a big lie.



Much like all the press around Tim Cook being gay.



Consider this.



Nobody ever comes out and claims to be proud to be straight.



Nor do they claim pride in being a straight, white, middle-class male.



Well some people do, but they're morons or Tony Abbott or Andrew Bolt.



This group is not a minority. They are not victimised, belittled, marginalised or harassed. If you are part of this group, and you think that you are, get over yourself. Life can be hard, but it's still generally easier for you than everyone else.



Every other group has to face prejudice, and we may like to think that we're a progressive society, but this whole thing proves that we are so not.



Tim Cook is standing up and doing amazing things for homosexuals everywhere.



It just really pisses me off that he has to do this...and that it is so necessary for him to do this.



Gay marriage is still not allowed in Australia. On a global scale, we're a disgrace. Whatever your arguments against it, check back with me in a few years when it's legal, and you'll see that your arguments have been condemned to the junk heap of history's stupidities along with climate change deniers and anyone who thinks The Big Bang Theory is funny. (TBBT is to humour what McDonald's is to food. As in, it's just not.)



The problem is not just with homosexuality either; the same goes for race, culture, people with disabilities, other sexualities - the list of those marginalised by society is endless.



If you're wondering how to identify where there's a problem, it's pretty easy.



Along with someone being "proud" to be something, the person is required to explain their preference.



"You're gay and a CEO? Why is that?"



"You're a woman and a policeman. What's that like?"



"You're in a wheelchair and you work at a bank. How does that work?"



"You're an aboriginal lawyer. Don't see that every day."



"You're a woman in politics. That's rare."



"You're a comedian? What do you do for money?"



Okay, so maybe there is some point in asking that last one, however, I wish there wasn't.



With those other questions though, and every other similar query, it's only when we stop asking and start accepting that we're getting close to being the society we should be.



Good on you, Tim Cook.



Shame on you, rest of the world.



(Including me...)



Oh and double shame on the Russians for pulling down the memorial to Steve Jobs after Cook came out... http://ift.tt/1wb99CL



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European Comedy Tour Journal, Day Five: Antwerp

I am comedian Kai Humphries. Each autumn I tour throughout the UK with my fellow stand-up and flatmate Daniel Sloss. This year we also roll out the tour to Europe for the first time, visiting 18 major cities over 21 dates. To amuse myself whilst we travel between cities (and whilst Daniel snores) I am keeping a journal of our adventures in the style of a scientific journal where my study subject is Daniel and my role as his support act is merely a disguise to cover up my true objective which is to psycho-analyse his behaviour.



Day: Five



Date: 31 October 2014



Destination: Antwerp (Belgium)



Subject: Daniel Sloss



10:30

I have spent the last hour of this flight from Estonia to Latvia losing a sustained conflict over the arm rest with a robust gentleman to my right, seeing as I am in the middle seat and he has the entire cabin aisle to liberate his starboard limbs, I consider it my unlegislated right to occupy the small border separating our positions, however he has shown no respect for my territory and I've resigned to abandoning my position to avoid further contention. I think he might be Russian. To my left a small amount of saliva is working its way down the contour of my companion's chin as the sandman works his devilry.



15:00

We had a three hour layover in Riga before proceeding on to Antwerp, I attempted some small talk with my test subject but he rather discourteously placed his palm brashly on my face and said "Snooze" we didn't talk to one another for a further eight minutes.



15:08

Having failed with base level communication I engaged Daniel with more meaningful discussion about our respective childhoods, this topic seemed to be of interest to Daniel, I suspect this is because it gave him an opportunity to talk about himself, something he highly enjoys doing regardless of tense.



At a prominent point in the lengthy exchange I regaled a particularly harrowing anecdote from my secondary school years about the time I presented a Valentine's card to a female classmate named Catherine in attempt to win her favour. Not only did the girl rebuke me but she went on to use Tipp-Ex branded correction fluid to remove my prose from the inside pages of the card, once dry she then used her own gel pen to rewrite the card to a new recipient named Darren who went on to perform lewd acts on her behind the bicycle shed. Allegedly. When I looked up to see Daniel's response it wasn't one of somber empathy deemed appropriate for such a sorrowful tale. He was in fact wearing a mask of extreme merriment that radiated out of him with insuppressible glee, this expression held on his face like he was buffering until the comprehension of the story had fully loaded onto his system, like he was stuck on 99%. When the download was complete he exploded into a rapturous guffaw of laughter that raised mild curiosity from the entire contingent of the departure lounge. This response was a stark reminder that his relationship to me is merely that of a test subject, a case study if you will, and that I must not let an intense working relationship manifest into a bond with a person who would have such a malevolent disregard for the struggle of prepubescent teens.



23:00

In a superb venue for performance forged from an abandoned factory with meticulous attention to detail we had the pleasure of entertaining a glorious collection of Belgian citizens in splendid atmospheric conditions for spoken comedy. Once I'd finished my repertoire and Daniel was on stage I heard him beckon me from the wings to join him, we went on to tell the crowd embarrassing stories about each other that would be otherwise inappropriate to reveal to strangers outside the platform of stand up comedy. Although the story of my boyhood woe never came up, I now understand why Daniel found it so hilarious. Because it didn't happen to him. As I conjured happiness from the onlookers at Daniel's expense in a trade for him doing the same to me, I considered that I could possibly subscribe to Daniel's particular brand of schadenfreude.



03:44

What a night we had, drinking wine alfresco on the cobbled streets of Antwerp with my Belgian comrades; Tom, Arbi and Bo. Their humour and attitude to life really appeals to me, their placidity and laid back nature is as though life is moving in slow motion for them, giving them more time than the rest of us to measure their concise responses and actions. It's just the Belgian way.



I returned to my quarters positively buoyant from my biological reaction to such high value alcohol and social stimulation, my apartment is a luxurious abode with a bath in the floor of the bedroom, a full mirrored wall and remote operated blinds that can conceal the vista of the city and plunge the room into intimacy at the push of a button. It is reminiscent of a boudoir inhabited by Seth Macfarlane's animated creation Glen Quagmire, for want of a literary reference. At risk of coming across crass, I can't help but imagine what my girlfriend's posterior would look like with the visual enhancement of the mirrored wall, but I refuse to act on my mental imagery because nothing adds tragedy to self gratification like your own reflection. The yearning for my significant other in situations like this exhibits the sacrifices I've made to conduct this study.



Signing off... http://ift.tt/eA8V8J



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Keiko, the orca who starred in Free Willy was released in the wild in July…

Keiko Keiko, the orca who starred in Free Willy was released in the wild in July of 2002 after being in captivity for 23 years. A few weeks after his release, he showed up at a Norwegian fjord in hopes of seeking human contact and would even give children rides on his back.






from Crazy Facts http://ift.tt/1xDetB4

A jobless Irish lady who won a lotto jackpot of $46m, now plans to donate…

A jobless Irish lady who won a lotto jackpot of $46m, now plans to donate all but $2m to her town and to give local people a chance. She said “I know what it’s like to have nothing …that’s why I’m giving it away – I can’t miss what I never had.”






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Mariya Oktyabrskaya, husband died in WW2 so she sold all of her belongings…

Mariya-Oktyabrskaya-cropped Mariya Oktyabrskaya, who’s husband died in WW2 so she sold all of her belongings and built a tank “The Angry Girlfriend” for revenge. Mariya, often disregarding orders not to, would leap out of her tank and repair the tank, amidst heavy fire. She became the first female tanker to ever win the Hero of the Soviet Union award.






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Africa’s true size isn’t shown on standard maps and it’s larger…

africa Africa’s true size isn’t shown on standard maps and it’s larger than China, West Europe, and the US combined.






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King Tut was mummified with…

King-Tut King Tut was mummified with an erection.






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There was a death metal band whose lead vocalist…

Hatebeak There was a death metal band whose lead vocalist was a parrot.






from Crazy Facts http://ift.tt/144L5Lg

This Smiling Owl Is Both Absolutely Adorable And Slightly Awkward

"Every time I visit this owl it gives me this face," explains YouTuber Adam Poley.



And what a priceless face it is!



Of course, now some bright spark has added a very human chuckle to the adorable feathered creature...







Result? Even more awkward... but very funny. Hurrah!



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'Russell Howard's Good News' Compares The American And British Reactions To Ebola

Good news for everyone who enjoyed Russell Howard's original piece on ebola - he's done a follow-up.



Check out Good News's take on how Americans have reacted to ebola reaching their shores...













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John Lewis Christmas Advert Parodies: The Inevitable Spoofs Have Arrived

Bluey The Budgie Can Do An Amazing Impression Of R2-D2 From 'Star Wars'

"We taught Bluey the budgie how to do R2-D2 and now he drives us crazy!" writes YouTuber Carli Jeffrey.



Or to put it another way: the Force is strong with this one...



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Husky Vs Baby Is The Cutest Stand-Off You'll See Today

Typical. You wait ages for one 'cute dog and baby' video, and then two come along at once.



Earlier, we brought you this adorable pooch showing a baby how to bounce.



And now we hand over to Glacier Caz the Siberian Husky and Kassius the baby - who are having a game of 'Who will back down first?'. Click play to find out who wins...



SEE ALSO:








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from UK Comedy - The Huffington Post http://ift.tt/1oBVg33

Motorbike Show-Off's Stunt Goes Just About As Badly Wrong As It Could

Here at HuffPost UK Comedy, we love nothing more than funny cat videos videos that show real-life events which could have been scripted.



Take this motorbike stunt, for example. In a moment of glorious real-life slapstick, it goes wrong. And then, moments later, in another moment of glorious real-life slapstick, it goes even more wrong.



Poor chap.



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from UK Comedy - The Huffington Post http://ift.tt/1svqftP

News Anchor Dances To 'Shake It Off', His Co-Anchor Isn't Impressed

Brain Teaser 11/10/2014

The time is twenty-six minutes to one in the afternoon.

The year is 1978, and the date is May 6th.

What is the significance of this?

Solution

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Amazon Books - Enjoy a good read!





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Dog Pounces On Baby's Shadows, Unwittingly Shows Baby How To Use Her Baby Bouncer

Ally the baby is learning how to use her baby bouncer.



Daykota the dog, meanwhile, loves shadows. And as a result, a) she's more interested in Ally's shadows than Ally herself, and b) she unwittingly teaches Ally how to bounce up and down in that baby bouncer of hers.



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from UK Comedy - The Huffington Post http://ift.tt/1w9kyTv

Housemate Is Caught On Camera Dancing To Sheena Easton While Cleaning His Flat, Wins All Our Hearts

CNN Reports President Obama Was Killed By Navy Seal... Not Osama Bin Laden

It's a classic mistake which has foiled many a news organisation: are you referring to current US President Barack Obama... or late Al-Qaeda leader Osama Bin Laden?



CNN confused the two in an unfortunate typo on 8 November in a TV news banner.



cnn

CNN aired the banner on Sunday evening US time





The banner reportedly appeared for less than a minute before being corrected, but that was long enough for eagle-eyed audience to take some screen shots and lampoon it for the mistake.



CNN's report was about the US Navy Seal who claims to have shot and killed Bin Laden in a May 2011 raid, who is under attack by his former comrades who dispute his version of events.



Osama Bin Laden was killed in a raid in Pakistan, and founded one of the largest terrorist organisations in the world, while Barack Obama runs the US and is very much alive.



It's not the first time Obama has been reported dead.



Fox News fell victim to the confusingly similar names on two occasions in 2011 when reporting Bin Laden's death. Its Sacramento affiliate Fox40 News reported that 'Obama Bin Laden' was dead, with another banner that was quickly removed.



fox

Fox's affiliate made the mistake





A reporter on its affiliate channel News 5 even spoke the mistake out loud, telling viewers that their president was "telling the nation and the world President Obama is in fact dead."







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Today in History for 10th November 2014

Historical Events


1891 - Granville T Woods patents electric railway

1944 - German riots in Rotterdam/Schiedam 52,000 men sent to Germany

1953 - Giants end their tour of Japan (players got $331 of $3,000 promised)

1966 - Lunar Orbiter 2 reaches 196-1871 km around Moon

1979 - Mississauga train detrailment. In Mississauga Ontario a 106 car train derails and more than 200,000 people evacuated.

1981 - Ernest Thompson's "West Side Waltz," premieres in NYC


More Historical Events »


Famous Birthdays


1710 - Adam Gottlob Moltke, Danish statesman (d. 1792)

1959 - Linda Cohn, American sports reporter

1961 - John Walton, English darts player

1966 - Kyle Kopp, San Bernardino Ca, water polo 2m offense (Olympics-96)

1968 - Lissa Maria Sneck, ice hockey goalie (Finland, Oly-98)

1980 - Donté Stallworth, American football player


More Famous Birthdays »


Famous Deaths


1673 - Michael Korybut Wisniowiecki, king of Poland (16..-73), dies

1808 - Guy Carleton, 1st Baron Dorchester, British soldier and Governor of Quebec (b. 1724)

1984 - Xavier Herbert, Australian author (b. 1901)

1990 - Lisa Kirk, US Broadway-singer, dies

2006 - Diana Coupland, British comedy actress (b. 1932)

2009 - Gheorghe Dinica, Romanian actor (b. 1934)


More Famous Deaths »






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