Thursday, 11 September 2014

Today's Daily Brain Teaser (Sep 12, 2014)

I Think Not



"One of the volcanoes on the Hawaiian islands just erupted and sent all kinds of rock and ash into the air! I just saw it on the news!", Fred spouted, running into the room. Everyone paid close attention to the television set as they changed it to the news channel. Liz, knowing that isn't true said, "Hawaii? I think not". How did Liz know the eruption never happened?





Check Braingle.com for the answer.





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Firefighters would hide in Ground Zero rubble so that dogs could…

Firefighters would hide in Ground Zero rubble so that dogs could find “survivors”. Constantly finding bodies was leading to high stress in the dogs as they thought they were failing.






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Honk The Tonka

yd4






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This Is Why Starbucks Baristas Spell Your Name Wrong

Starbucks staff write your name on the cup these days - but not always correctly.



Thank you, Paul Gale, for revealing the reason why.



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Guardian Membership: Now Other Newspapers Follow Suit

The Purple Zebra

yd3






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Ben McMahon, the Australian man, woke from a coma speaking…

Ben McMahon, the Australian man, woke from a coma speaking fluent Mandarin but had completely forgotten English.







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On 9/11, after the first plane hit the North Tower of the WTC, people…

On 9/11, after the first plane hit the North Tower of the WTC, people in the South Tower wanted to leave but were advised by a announcement to stay at their desks. Some of those who tried to leave anyway were turned back by security in the building before the exits. 1,120 died.







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On 9/11, when all transport out of the city was shut down, citizen…

On 9/11, when all transport out of the city was shut down, citizen boat owners managed to transport over 500k people from Manhattan Island in an amazing act known as the “9/11 Boatlift”.







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“Towser,” a long-haired tortoiseshell female cat, is credited with killing…

“Towser,” a long-haired tortoiseshell female cat, is credited with killing an estimated 28,899 mice in 24 years of work as the resident pest control expert at Glenturret whiskey distillery in Scotland. Guinness Book of Records recognizes her tally as the world record.






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There are 17 American men in history who have run under…

There are 17 American men in history who have run under 2:10 in the marathon. In contrast, there were 32 Kenyans who did it just in October of 2011.






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Me And My Shadow: Dog Follows Duck For Hours Through A Lake

You've never seen anything tailed as closely as this. Not even in the very best TV detective shows.



According to YouTuber bill bob, his friend's dog spent hours shadowing this duck in the water. And yet amazingly, as you can see, he never, ever makes a move for it. Someone give this pooch a medal (for restraint)!



(Via Nothing To Do With Arbroath)

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from UK Comedy - The Huffington Post http://ift.tt/1qmJDNh

Scottish Independence 'Backed By North Korea'

As the debate over independence reaches fever pitch, Scotland's 'Yes' camp has gained an unlikely ally.



North Korea is apparently very keen to increase trade with a newly independent Edinburgh, according to officials of the secretive state.



Choe Kwan-il, the managing editor of the Choson Sinbo newspaper, told The Telegraph that independence will be positive for Scotland as it will allow the country to build on its relationship with North Korea.



scotland

The start of a beautiful relationship?





Choson Sinbo provides news to an estimated 200,000 Koreans who live in Japan, but "swear allegiance – and send vast amounts of financial support – to North Korea," the Telegraph reported.



"North Korea is rich in natural resources and we like the taste of Scotch whisky, so we can be beneficial to each other," he said.



North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un is also said to enjoy drinks “all the time,” and last year spent £20 million on alcohol alone - so will perhaps be keen to secure a trade of Scottish whisky with Scottish First Minister Alex Salmond.



Choe added that North Koreans would be able to relate to those in Scotland who are hoping for a break from the UK.



"I believe that every person has the right to be a member of an independent nation, to have sovereignty, to live in peace and to enjoy equality," he said. "And I believe that a majority of Scots feel the same and will vote for independence," he said.



Along with North Korea, some of the globe’s most "black hated" antagonists have ruminated on the delicate matter of the British Union, with support falling on both sides of the fence.



Here are some of the world's elite "supervillains" that have also chimed in on the referendum:



Henry Kissinger:



kissinger

'I do not welcome it'





Global "supervillain" Henry Kissinger has spoken out on the Scottish independence debate, telling Prospect Magazine that "anything that makes Britain smaller I do not welcome". Yet the former US Secretary of State is not the only nefarious character to offer council on the issue of Scotland’s proposed breakaway from the UK.



Rupert Murdoch:



rupert murdoch

'Openings for libertarians and the far left'





When not denying man made climate change or taking surreptitious meetings with the leader of Ukip, ageing media mogul Rupert Murdoch tweets out his support for the 'Yes' campaign and his "friend" Alex Salmond. According to Andrew Neil, Murdoch's backing for independence is payback for the roughing up Westminster handed out to the media baron during the phone hacking scandal.












Simon Cowell:



simon cowell

'We value our bonds of citizenship'





Tyrannical music Svengali Simon Cowell was a signatory to a letter signed by a raft of British celebrities (mainly English) asking Scots to vote to renew "our bonds of citizenship". Cowell was accompanied on the list by semi-evil fax-seller Alan Sugar and Sting, the latter almost making the cut for his Fields of Gold album.



Vladimir Putin:



vladimir putin

'A domestic matter'





Vladimir Putin, onetime friend turned scourge of the West, was asked in January what he thought about Scottish independence, replying that it was a "domestic matter for the UK". The Russian leader added: "It's a choice for each and every people, according to their own circumstances." Tell that to the government in Kiev, comrade...



Sarah Palin:



sarah palin

Fake or real tweet?





Sarah Palin, erstwhile vice presidential nominee turned Tweeter, may have stuck her hunting boots into the debate last December, telling Scots "Let’s face facts. Secession is wrong for Scotland". There are strong rumours the Tweet was fake. Still, we like to think of Palin looking over at Holyrood from her window in Alaska…



Piers Morgan:



piers morgan

'You've had your fun'





Piers Morgan, the former grubby tabloid editor turned fired CNN anchor, is much maligned in both the US and UK, and though his stance on US gun safety was admirable, he’s got enough soiled linen in his closet to join the evil cohort. And how did he try and persuade the people of Scotland to vote ‘No’? With this tactfully crafted tweet:












Nigel Farage:



ukip farage

'They're being sold a pig in a poke'





The leader of Ukip, which boasts such stellar members as Godfrey Bloom as the chap that "saluted" a flower pot, has backed the Union, mocking Salmond in a recent interview on MSNBC for wanting to seize monetary policy from Westminster, only to hand it over to the European Union. He told the hosts, the First Minister was selling the people of Scotland a "pig in a poke".



Tony Abbott:



greg abbott

'Enemies of freedom and justice'





And then there’s Tony Abbott, the coral reef-hating, God believing Prime Minister of Australia, who in an August interview said that Scottish independence would be a win for the enemies of freedom and justice. “It’s hard to see how the world would be helped by an independent Scotland," he told The Times. The ‘Yes’ campaign responded by saying Abbott had "put his foot in it". http://ift.tt/1qmGCfW



from UK Comedy - The Huffington Post http://ift.tt/1nNVjTD

The Ultimate Compilation Of School Fails

We've all been there - trying to show off to the ladies, or your mates, and it going totally, utterly, fantastically wrong.



We were just clever enough not to get caught on camera.



You Might Also Like..

This Is Why You Shouldn't Challenge Your 70-Year-Old Professor To An Arm Wrestle..

Teacher Punishes Students With Game Of Thrones Spoilers If They Don't Behave

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Hitler's Trip To Yorkshire Is Ruined In This Latest 'Downfall' Parody

Yes, it's another Hitler 'Downfall' video. But we like this one because it's a) British and b) very funny. (Warning: it's also very, very sweary.)



The Führer was expecting a nice trip to God's own county. But instead, he's off to... well, watch the video and find out.



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Brain Teaser 9/11/2014

You are an expert on paranormal activity and have been hired to locate a spirit haunting an old resort hotel. Strong signs indicate that the spirit lies behind one of four doors. The inscriptions on each door read as follows:

Door A: It's behind B or C

Door B: It's behind A or D

Door C: It's in here

Door D: It's not in here

Your psychic powers have told you three of the inscriptions are false, and one is true. Behind which door will you find the spirit?

Solution

||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

Download The Best Crossword Puzzle Games





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These Are 10 Amazing Internet Feelings You Know Too Well

Thank you, BuzzFeed, for putting into words - and video-form - some of the best feelings you can get when using the internet. Well, apart from the ones you feel when watching, say, a baby goat bounce across the screen.



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If Chocolate Adverts Were Honest, They Might Look Like This

We've all done it... multiple times. And now, College Humor has made a commercial about it.



Yes, if you've ever eaten an entire box of chocolate treats in one sitting - and then felt horribly guilty about it - then this is the advert for you!















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from UK Comedy - The Huffington Post http://ift.tt/1wibi4s

A 21st Century Tragedy

Something truly awful has happened. What am I going to do? How will my life function? How will I sleep at night? Questions of this variety have been racing through my mind as I lie in bed contemplating my bad luck. Having lost it, my one and only love, the thing that gets me up in the morning and sends me to sleep, life now seems a struggle. An uphill struggle that I am destined to fail, losing my footing and slipping down the Hill of Life hitting my head on the Stones of Misfortune and grazing my knees on the Gravel of Hardship. You see my dear friends, my laptop, my beautiful blue, my azure acquaintance, is in disrepair.



A few days ago I was on my darling, using my time exceptionally well by reading the delightfully snidey and grammatically impressive Guardian comments and listening to the Lord of the Rings soundtrack, when my laptop began to warm up. It was all hot and bothered and making a disconcerting screeching sound.



"My sweet, what is wrong with you?" I cooed whilst rubbing my knee vigorously and holding my laptop close to my ear. There was no response.



"My bear in the big blue house, why are you tormenting me so?" I wailed. Still no response. And then, it shut down. Just like that. Without warning, the one thing that had kept me entertained, kept my head above water, closed down. I immediately tucked my laptop into bed and put it in the recovery position, also known as closed, and waited by its sickbed anxiously rocking myself back and forth, chewing my nails and rubbing my knees. After a few hours passed, and multiple trips to the toilet, I chanced it and turned it on. A horrifying message greeted my reddened and squinty eyes: "The system has detected that a cooling fan is not operating correctly"



My heart dropped. A cooling fan? I immediately sprang into action and acquired a beautiful, lush Japanese hand fan with a red design speckled with pink (it's my sisters, I promise) and set to work. I vigorously fanned the underside of the laptop whilst turning it on, hoping that it would whir back into life, the familiar hum of the hard-drive and roar of the fan taking me to my safe place; the one place where the outside world can't hurt me. Yet, the vigorous fanning was to no avail and I had to concede defeat. I needed a professional - quickly.



So, when the time presented itself I set off on a heroic adventure to save my laptop from the well-documented dangers of a cooling fan that is not operating correctly. Growing up we all heard about this. Our Mother's and Father's would say to us: "Do your homework or your cooling fan will not operate correctly" and "If you don't do that washing up you little devil then I'll cause your cooling fan to operate in an incorrect manner." Everyone knows how dangerous a non-operational cooling fan can be and I wasn't about to lose my laptop to this modern day disease. So off I beetled, following my nose to the Wizards of PC World.



I got there breathlessly; having ran all the way from Selly Park to the centre of Birmingham and said: "I need you to fix my laptop, stat!"



"Calm down young master, perhaps we can fix your laptop, perhaps we can't..." the little imp-like man behind the desk replied in a, quite frankly, unnecessarily enigmatic manner.



"What? You work at bloody PC World. The cooling fan is broken, can you replace it?" I replied.



"Hmmm" he said thoughtfully whilst stroking his misguided and ill-advised facial hair "maybe we can, given the right financial contribution from yourself. But such is life; the winds of misfortune may blow."



"Can I just ask you to stop with the mystery bullshit? I know I called you a PC World Wizard earlier on in the article but I can't stand this attempt at tension you're trying to create and I can't be arsed to keep writing your dialogue in this manner. Every PC World technician worth their salt clearly knows how to change a fucking cooling fan it's really not that big of a deal." I said.



"Oh right yeah, sure thing mate. It will be 50 quid for the labour costs and around 20 quid for the parts. It'll take around ten days and you can pay when you pick it up."



"Brilliant, cheers mate." I said whilst handing over the laptop in a matter-of-fact manner.



And that was the end of that. It's actually fine without my laptop. I wrote this whilst in the new library in Birmingham which is wonderful and I've just spent my time a lot more wisely by reading books, exercising and actually speaking to people face-to-face. So, all that other stuff, particularly at the start, was actually just grossly over-exaggerated for the purposes of this article. I'm sure you probably feel incredibly cheated and duped as I know it was extremely realistic and quite alarming, but don't worry, it's fine. I'm fine.



Probably. http://ift.tt/eA8V8J



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This Dog Does A Great Impersonation Of A Dolphin

Ladies and gentlemen, meet Bruce - the Boston terrier who is part dog, part dolphin.



At least, he is when he spots another dog...



(Via Pleated Jeans)

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Café Chalkboard Sign Of The Day

The iWatch - Sorry, Apple Watch - Gets Its First Parody Advert

We've been queuing all night, and it's finally here! The first advert spoofing the Apple Watch!



"It does so many cool little thingies... You can try looking at pictures on a one-inch screen," explains comedian Jack Douglas in his very fine parody.



And if you like this sort of thing - Apple spoofs rather than Apple Watches - be sure to check out IKEA's consummate parody advert for their 'BookBook', too.



SEE ALSO: Amazing Features Of The New Apple Watch





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from UK Comedy - The Huffington Post http://ift.tt/1lXvgxY

This Bouncing Baby Goat Is About To Make Your Day

Now you see her - now you don't!



Yes, say hello to Bea: the adorable little kid that's giving ninja cat a run for his money. Or rather: a jump for it.



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Today in History for 11th September 2014

Historical Events


1897 - After months of pursuit, generals of Menelik II of Ethiopia capture Gaki Sherocho, the last king of Kaffa, bringing an end to that ancient kingdom.

1912 - Netherland Olympic Committee forms

1919 - US marines invade Honduras

1953 - WEHT TV channel 25 in Evansville, IN (CBS) begins broadcasting

1985 - Intl Cometary Explorer (ISEE 3) passes Giacobini-Zinner by 7900 km

1991 - Air crash at Djeddah, Saudi-Arabia, 263 die


More Historical Events »


Famous Birthdays


1892 - Lucien Buysse, Belgian cyclist (d. 1980)

1915 - Athena Lorde, NY, actress (Fuzz, Skin Game, Firecreek)

1970 - Chris Garver, tattoo artist

1975 - Juliette Spier, Miss North Dakota USA (1996)

1978 - Ben Lee, Australian musician and singer

1980 - Antônio Pizzonia, Brazilian race car driver


More Famous Birthdays »


Famous Deaths


1823 - David Ricardo, economist (b. 1772)

1896 - Anton Joseph Bruckner, Austrian composer, dies at 72

1946 - Arthur van Schendel, writer (Holland Drama), dies at 72)

1978 - Ronnie Peterson, Swedish F1 driver (b. 1944)

1984 - Hilding Hallnas, composer, dies at 81

1988 - Luis W Alvarez, physicist (Nobel-1968), dies at 77


More Famous Deaths »






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