Tuesday, 2 December 2014

Today's Daily Brain Teaser (Dec 03, 2014)

Ahoy



What is represented below?



S V

K E

I S

P S

P E

E L

R





Check Braingle.com for the answer.





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via 3d wooden brain teasers from craftypuzzles.com

Light It Up

yd2






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Donk Limo

yd1(donklimo






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Jimmy Carr's 'Laughing and Joking': Why Do Some Comedians Get Away With Sexism?

On Sunday evening I managed to watch approximately three minutes of Jimmy Carr's Laughing And Joking on Channel 4.



After what felt like an eternity of sexist one-liners (even 180 seconds is too much), I felt great pleasure in pressing the red button on the remote control and watching the screen turn to black.



While Carr's jokes remained the topic of our conversation for the next hour, I haven't heard a peep from Twitter or media outlets (including my own) questioning his hateful remarks.



Even Channel 4 seem to know he's gone too far. "Jimmy Carr delivers a host of one-liners, stories and jokes, some clever, some rude and a few totally unacceptable," says the listing. But no one appears to care.





jimmy carr







Normally this wouldn't surprise me - comedians have been getting away with sexist jokes since the beginning of time - but given that just a fortnight ago the world took great pleasure in taking down Dapper Laughs, the (lack of) response screams double standards.



Don't get me wrong, I'm not defending Dapper Laughs. I'm glad the programme was pulled by ITV and that creator Daniel O'Reilly has killed off the character.



I'm also glad that sexism is finally making the news. Shortly after Dapper Laughs' funeral, controversial pick-up-artist Julien Blanc was refused entry to the UK. That was one small signature for Theresa May, one giant leap for the UK.



But since those two victories, the united front against sexism seems to have disbanded.



When Rosetta scientist Dr Matt Taylor went on TV wearing a shirt covered in women wearing corsets, most people jumped to his defense. He's just a computer geek, he doesn't know what he's doing, they said. While he was clearly not advocating sexual violence, casual sexism - especially in the tech industry - is a huge problem and concerns over his choice of shirt is definitely worth discussion, rather than being shouted down.



And while Carr may have employed sexism more subtly than Dapper Laughs and Blanc, it is still no more excusable. Given his popularity and prime time slot on Sunday night television, I'd argue that his remarks are even more lethal than the other two.



So why do we punish only a handful of men while others get off scott-free?



Is this because Daniel O'Reilly, a self-confessed "geezer from Clapham", is an easier target than Jimmy Carr? Or because cancelling Blanc's visa is easy when Australia has already paved the way by cancelling theirs?



Whatever the reason, sexism - whether it is casual sexism or otherwise - is unacceptable and has to be eradicated. We need to be braver and call it when we see it, encourage discussion when we don't all agree, and ultimately continue to make the world a more hospitable place to be female. http://ift.tt/1ycijzX



from UK Comedy - The Huffington Post http://ift.tt/1HVEgLM

European Comedy Tour Journal, Day Fifteen: Geneva

I am comedian Kai Humphries. Each autumn I tour throughout the UK with my fellow stand-up and flatmate Daniel Sloss. This year we also roll out the tour to Europe for the first time, visiting 18 major cities over 21 dates. To amuse myself whilst we travel between cities (and whilst Daniel snores) I am keeping a journal of our adventures in the style of a scientific journal where my study subject is Daniel and my role as his support act is merely a disguise to cover up my true objective which is to psycho-analyse his behaviour.


Day: Fifteen



Date: 10 November 2014



Destination: Geneva (Switzerland)



Subject: Daniel Sloss



13:00

I have checked out of the hotel but await our scheduled 15:30 transportation, I have arrived in the lobby before my subject, made myself comfortable, connected to the wifi and checked what was happening in the outside world beyond the confines of my insular project. It appears there are many cases of public figures making sexist remarks on various media outlets such as ITV2 and Facebook fan-pages which blur the meaning of what it is to have fans. I am warmed by the public's outraged response to such bigotry, it's a response that comes from an educated place, in the past we have witnessed similar if not worse sentiment in the media which has previously been met with public tolerance however I am comforted that my society has changed the line in the sand for what is acceptable. My comfort is coupled with shame that this ever changing line in the sand will soon cross my own previous lack of education. I have been known to use terms such as "man-up" or "grow some balls" or even "stop being a pussy" as teasing encouragement to coerce my fellow people (male or female) into tasks that might require testosterone to accomplish, I didn't consider however that this was an unnecessarily gender specific call for bravery. Being a male isn't a prerequisite for showing courage yet I've been conditioned to make such statements from a place of ignorance. Rather than looking back with the aforementioned shame I'd like to instead show gratitude to the paragons of feminism for showing the less educated of us the error in our ways, it is now down to us to toe the line. We have to be careful in society to do what is right not just what is perceived to be right, for instance if Alcohol was seen as a drug, which it is, a lot of us have to admit to having a drug problem.



Daniel has just arrived looking rather hungover, nodded in my direction to acknowledge my existence then sat at a separate table.



14:30

I took a minor expedition to the bakery and returned with some provisions, I placed some in front of Daniel, he mumbled a nondescript syllable, I nodded in his direction to acknowledge his attempt at appreciation then sat at a separate table.



15:30

Our friend Ari picked us up and whisked us to the airport, the introduction of Ari into the dynamic injected some life into Daniel who held his own in a conversation about cult rock band, The Beatles, a subject in which he knows very little about but still proceeded to fuel Ari's passion for the topic. I believe if the airport was only slightly further away he'd have been left with no choice but to put his hands up and concede that he was only regurgitating things he'd heard from other enthusiasts and the words coming from his mouth were little more than the sum of their parts. We embraced our host at the terminal who then drove off taking any hope of conversation with him.



17:50

We have boarded the flight to Geneva, for the past two hours we sat silently next to each other in departures completely ignoring each other's presence, fixated on our electronic devices. To the outside world we must look like a same sex couple who have had a major disagreement on holiday and are enduring the journey home in an amicable silence with underlying rancour. Little would they know that we are absorbed in jovial spirited conversation together with non-present comrades via the electronic connectivity of a group messaging application. Without any Internet or company in the cabin of the commercial jet we're currently locked into, I pick up my book and Daniel closes his eyes, I visualise this to be the picture for the next four hours.



23:00

I have just arrived in my Geneva hotel room after nodding a farewell to Daniel as I exited the elevator and it has occurred to me that my subject and I have quite comfortably spent the entire day together traveling the longitude of Europe without uttering a single word of verbal communication, other than words that passed through Ari or cyberspace. Without the presence of a catalyst we no longer feel the requirement to fill the silence, a silence that would feel heavy around someone less familiar is as welcome as the quiet you enjoy in your own solitude when in the company of someone you have had this much exposure to. There is no discontent or animosity, no loneliness or fear of judgement, no expectations at all, just operating alone as though you are both one person.



23:05

I just received a text message from my subject; Breakfast at 11?



Signing off... http://ift.tt/eA8V8J



from UK Comedy - The Huffington Post http://ift.tt/1HVAr99

French Bulldog Sings His Heart Out To Josh Groban Because Dogs Need Love Songs, Too

Typical. You wait ages for one 'dog singing along to a song in a car' video - and two come along at once!



Yes, on Monday we brought you the pooch who loves 'Let It Go' from 'Frozen'.



And now, it's the adorable French bulldog who loves 'You Raise Me Up' by Josh Groban. Well, he's only human. Oh, wait...



SEE ALSO: This Dog Can REALLY Sing The Blues





(Via Tastefully Offensive) http://ift.tt/eA8V8J



from UK Comedy - The Huffington Post http://ift.tt/1vd7Li2

Cliff Richard and Christmas Jumpers

Every December, I'm known as the Grinch. Scrooge, Victor Meldrew. I hate Christmas. The streets are so busy you can't walk a flea. The couples are magically appearing and kissing under the rotten mistletoe. Everyone who is usually miserable and rude in London is suddenly oh so jolly! They are almost as fake as Jordan's breasts. Oh how I hate Christmas. But that was last year. And the year before that. And pretty much every year since I found out Christmas was all about a baby and Cliff Richard singing dreadful songs.

But THIS year my Grinch heart has finally grown a few sizes bigger than it was. Why? Because IM now one of those cheesy couples. Choosing gifts, wrapping them up, writing a soppy message in the card and grating some extra parmesan cheese into the envelope. I'm even finding myself more in the mood to watch Harry Potter on a Saturday night with a cup of Eggnog instead of going out to get wasted before throwing up my bitter stomach lining.

What's made me look forward to this Christmas even more is that I will be in Sweden. Visiting the rest of the Hefter family WITH my boyfriend. It couldn't get more perfect. I almost feel smug considering I've had to spend a couple of Christmases alone in the past.

The snow is already falling in Sweden, the tree will be cut from the nearby forest and the log fire will be ready and waiting. Board games, warm cider, and a stocking await. Oh I can almost hear Cliff Richard singing in the background.

So there you have it dear jolly friends, I'm cured. I'm all cozy and excited about this year's festivities. ....

There is just ONE. SMALL. PROBLEM.. I will not be buying, taking, borrowing, or wearing a Christmas jumper. To me, a Christmas jumper is that step too far. It's the epitome of the stilton at Christmas. The people in my new job in West London are feeling very festive and my managers have asked me to wear a Christmas jumper into work for a charity. They can sod off. I'd rather wear a cut out bin bag than an itchy lit up ridiculous Christmas jumper. There is a charity event happening where I'm asked to wrap up some gifts for the homeless, give some of my hard earned money away, hey, Ill even donate my eggs! That's fine with me! But I will NOT be wearing a Christmas jumper!!

Someone called out Bar Humbug to me yesterday on my lunch break. Can't a girl sit in peace with her Big Mac? I'm not bothered if people at my work think I'm a Scrooge. They have no idea how much I'm looking forward to pulling a cracker with my old crazy Uncle and give my boyfriend his gifts which are covered in a fabulous wrapping of cats in bow ties. But it is Naomi Hefter you are reading about after all, and I'm always going be a bit of a Grinch at heart. http://ift.tt/eA8V8J



from UK Comedy - The Huffington Post http://ift.tt/1vd22Zn

In the early 20’s, inventor Thomas Midgley Jr. discovered that he could make car…

ThomasMidgleyJr In the early 20’s, inventor Thomas Midgley Jr. discovered that he could make car engines more efficient by adding Tetraethyllead to gasoline, and was awarded a Nichols Medal. Later, it was discovered that the chemicals had filled the atmosphere with lead, leading to worldwide lead poisoning.


In the late 20’s, the same inventor synthesized one the first Chloroflourocarbons, known as CFC, and received the Perkin Medal. It was later discovered that the immense amounts of CFC produced by hairspray and other everyday products had reduced the ozone layer by 4% every decade since the invention. The wound is not expected to heal fully within our lifetimes.


At the age of 51, Midgley contracted polio. Unable to get out of bed by himself, he constructed a machine which could pull him out and help him stand without his family having to help. He got entangled in the wires, and died of suffocation. It is now believed that Midgley has affected our planet’s atmosphere more than any other organism that has ever existed.






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The Left Is Going To Eat Itself

It's lonely in the middle. There's no picketing or parliament square for us, there's no change.org petition to make sure all hamsters get seed mix and there are no bombastic rallies in the name of centrism and reason. The far right wants to send all immigrants to the moon and all those benefit cheats who scrounge off the government to pay for their wheelchairs to the workhouse. Meanwhile, the far left, seems to be unnecessarily angry about quite a lot of things. We all get angry; anger can be useful, but would it be dangerous if our moral outrage became more important to us than our morals?



The moral outrage of the left (my personal beliefs would see me be deemed at the very least, centre-left) is vicious and fickle. We were very angry with purported comedian Dapper Laughs for being on ITV2, then his show got decommissioned, but that was years ago now. Then Julian Blanc wanted to come over here and teach men how to get women to have sex with them, but we told him he couldn't have a visa. We were very angry with Emily Thornberry after she tweeted a picture of a house in Rochester, whilst maintaining in the text of the tweet that it was in fact in Rochester, Ed Miliband was especially angry. Then we were all very angry with Ed Miliband when it appeared he wouldn't even have been considered the most electable member of 'Popstars' group Hear'Say. But luckily amidst all of this no-one was angry at the enslavement of native Congolese people, mining Coltan for our iPhones. So that must have finished.



These may all be deserving targets for our anger, but we are not deserving receptacles. We are so irrationally in love with our own outrage. There was Jack Monroe tweeting about David Cameron using "stories about his dead son as misty-eyed rhetoric" to justify privatising the NHS... So in her outrage she tweets the outrageous ... prompting outrage... where does it end?!



We love our fury so because it gives us meaning. It gives us our own little place in the world, a position we can take brashly and use to accumulate 'likes' on Facebook as we move loudmouthed and insatiable towards next week's fury. That will be the fury that finally stops the ageing process and brings about that panacea of equality, orgasms and cake. The world's heart will beat warmly and thank you, specifically for the day you told your friends how much you do or do not hate Russell Brand. I have opinions but I try not to trust them. There is so much information, so much debate, rhetoric, statistics all brandished like weapons that give the illusion that when an opinion is next to a fact, it becomes a fact.



The left has become so explosively reactive it is now in danger of being reactionary. There are certain things you can say to kill the mood when in the company of fellow 'progressives'; mention immigration even slightly unfavourably you are a racist. Talk about the Middle East but so much as question whether some of the blame may lie with Palestine; you will not be forgiven. Perhaps say that the daily 'Is ...... Sexist?' article in The Guardian might be somewhat retrogressive and separating and we would be better pressed to address equality in a broader more positive movement than worry ourselves with this rather petty tribalist journalism; it won't go down well.



I'm not sure how much of that is correct but it should be ok to debate or at the very ask questions about such things without facing such immediate ostracism and people taking it so personally. It seems that we are not arguing to seek a solution, we are arguing from an intellectually evolved sense of tribalism. There are 7 billion people in the world all thinking,

"Well I must be right, I am the only one I can be sure exists."



We are all hampered by the narcissism caused by our own consciousness being the only one we have any evidence for. Everybody seems to know what is right. Every politician has the correct but somehow opposite information to every other politician. Everyone on my Facebook feed knows better than everybody else on my Facebook feed about some quite serious things. There is no need for this. We just need to talk to each other with curiosity, openness and respect.



As David Hume said,

"The truth springs from argument amongst friends."

If we learn to listen to each other and accept that perhaps we won't be right all the time think how much politics would improve! If just once staring combatively from his lectern Ed Milliband turned and said,

"To be fair Mr Speaker, The Prime Minister has a solid point there."



The real reason why we were angry at Dapper Laughs is because he has a face. He personified a lot of the growing anger at 'lad culture' and we rejoiced in his demise. Achilles might be dead but Troy still burns. It is harder to hate things like UniLad.com and LadBible.com as they don't have a face. They are the organ grinder; they are the organisations that create the environment for Dapper Laughs to metastasise. And what of ITV2 and the commissioners of Dapper Laughs - On The Pull? Daniel O'Reilly has lost his job and now surely they need to lose theirs. ITV2 commissioners were wrong to commission this program. But we don't know what they look like, so the media can't easily scapegoat them. So they get away with it.



Julian Blanc was denied a visa. An easily corrected problem seen to. The country will celebrate this. The demand for Julian Blanc in this country is an effect or a symptom. The cause is most likely an alienating education system, young people who are newly sexualised and who feel lost at either end of growing inequality who have been exposed to media that sexualises everything, long before these kids are pubic let alone ready to understand. Address these problems and make the public aware.



Emily Thornberry was pointing out English flags on a house. Not a white van as some people have tried to suggest, this was not class assassination. She was highlighting Nationalism, because Nationalism is moronic. Nationalism is tribalism, and tribalism is primitive and separates us. Dan Ware to whom the flags belonged said,

"I will continue to fly the flags - I don't care who it pisses off. I know there is a lot of ethnic minorities that don't like it."

Surely that IS problematic!



Jack Monroe doesn't think David Cameron should get so 'misty eyed' over his dead son, she asserts he is affecting that behaviour so he can 'sell the NHS to his friends'. I think Jack Monroe might have a point, I think her phrasing may have been slightly off. Though to be completely honest I do feel like distributing a leaflet displaying a pie chart on tax expenditure in which the welfare section has been inflated by the surreptitious inclusion of pensions seems like an awful thing to do. It seems evil but that just feels to me like too simplistic a conclusion to come to.



This is all part of a bigger problem. The left is going to eat itself. I've heard people say they love 'social justice' - as if social justice were a policy or a Beatrix Potter character. You might as well love niceness or being warm. 'How do we get there?' is a more difficult conversation involving compromise, thought and honesty. Jack Monroe and the furious left must concede the Tories may in some cases be human beings, with feelings and they might not be 'evil'. They might just disagree. I've heard a life long Labour voter say that he believes in what is fair. The implication is hilarious. As if Cameron would state,

"I believe in being unfair."



I'm not suggesting that idealism isn't important, just that if we, on the left were willing to accept that maybe it's not just 'them on the right' who can be closed minded, then we may get to see those ideals begin to infiltrate reality.



I say all this as a man fascinated by the middle. Debate is healthy, debate is equalising. Vitriol is not, vitriol is polarising. It makes an enemy of dissent and we all become one-man totalitarian states. I must be allowed to ask questions about immigration regulation without being called a racist.



The culture of outrage is outrageous and I am outraged at it. The comments section is open, go nuts.





Alfie Brown is starring in his new stand up show - "Divorced from Reality ;(And My Wife)" at Soho Theatre 2nd - 6th December 7.30pm - www.sohotheatre.com http://ift.tt/eA8V8J



from UK Comedy - The Huffington Post http://ift.tt/1rUIbhG

How I Didn't Piss on Myself and Became Britain's Favourite Sweetheart

2014-12-01-photo8.JPG



So last night my girlfriend and I got stinkingly pissed. We came home and passed out on the bed. I woke up three hours later and went to the toilet. As I stood up urinating I started feeling dizzy and like I was gonna pass out. I knew I was blacking out and needed to get myself to the ground but was still pissing and didn't want to get piss everywhere. I managed to finish my piss and put my fella away but I blacked out and smacked my head on the sink. Then I had a little rest on the bathroom floor as that unmistakeable feel of a whitey passed over me, that cold pale sickly poison feeling. Then I got up and mopped up a pool of blood and a spurt of blood going across the sink. Then I went to look for a plaster. Then my girlfriend woke up and it was clear we should go to A+E cos we could see a bit of my skull. So we got a cab to A+E. The first nurse took some notes and I made sure she wrote down that I managed to finish my piss and never pissed over myself and so that I'm a proud man, an icon even. Then I puked up sushi in front of her. Then they wheeled me and sat me on a bed and a nurse stuck a big fat needle in my arm and I could feel the hot juice of my blood gushing down my arm like warm syrup. At all times I was hilarious and bringing the banter like a proper ledge. My girlfriend will confirm how heroic I was. Then they took some blood for testing. Then they wheeled me into another bit and stuck a saline drip in me. I'd never had that before and didn't like it at first cos it was cold. I could feel cold fluid going into my body and meeting warm blood. I don't know what that phenomenon is called in nature when warm water meets cold? And I'm not sure what kind of habitat or ecosystem it creates? Either way it was a feeling. Then I imagined cliched films where someone wakes up in a hospital and doesn't remember who they are and they pull the things out their arm and manage to slip out past the busy medical staff walking back and forth. Then a fun nurse came and we had a giggle. Then a miserable nurse came and we didn't have a giggle. I bombarded staff with questions because I find medicine quite interesting - and also I'm a very wearying man who wants to know exactly what they're doing to me. Then the doctor came and injected my eyebrow with anaesthetic. That hurt a teeny bit. Some of the anesthetic dribbled down my face and made my lips numb. I quite liked it. Then the doctor sewed me up and I got five stiches. Anaesthetic is good cos I didn't feel anything. That shit works. The needle they use is small and curved like a little scimitar. Apparently they practice on pig skin at medical school. I got some good pics of my split open head but I'm not putting up the grisly photos cos I don't want to upset my mum. Then the doctor left the room. Then he came back and conluded that my passing out was not so much the booze, but more my labyrinthitis and something called micturition syncope where your blood pressure drops during or after pissing and can cause you to faint. What a bizarre and ridiculous thing to potentially have, albeit entirely in keeping with the kind of rubbish condition I would have if I ever did have to have a condition of some sort. The important thing to remember in all this is that I didn't piss over myself and subsequently am pretty close to being some kind of folk hero as I am a man who chose to pass out and smack his head on the sink rather than piss all over himself. If society had more people like me who were prepared to make a stand for standards and values then we would be in a better place. All the nurses agreed. Then me and my girlfriend went home. What follows are some thoughts:



LOVE OF THE NHS



The fact that I - a hapless schmuck - can injure myself and then go to a place where some strangers will take care of me is ridiculous and we should never become immune or inured to how incredible and mind-blowing that phenomenon is. Every day we have an NHS is a watershed moment in human existance. To care for one another is the peak of human poetry. The place was full of Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Romanian, African, British, Sikh, Hindu, French, German, Polish, atheist, caring, piss-taking, miserable, tired, mucking about, hilarious angels. Some of them were a laugh. Some were humourless. Some were rude. Some tired. I don't care. They are alive and part of a living system. I like that individual personalities unencumbered by corporate speak can express the nuance of their own humanity and therein lies the humane heart and soul of the system.



EARLY MORNING



Even though my head had been split open and sewn back together I came away exhilarated and full of life. There is nothing like being alive at 5am in any city. Walking the streets, driving around or being in your own room - I have always been in awe of that time and what your body and senses say to you when you stay up all night. Mystic whisperings take place. I've always seen it as a symbolic conquering of death. Night and sleep are when we go into the dark. In doing so it echos the grave. But to avoid that, dodge that, to arrogantly stick your fingers up and conquer the night, survive the darkness and remain alive, to hear the starlings in the trees, to hear the blackbirds in the trees, to hear the magpies in the trees, to have kept pace with the turning world and emerge alongside the dawn is a special thing. The world tried to turn it's back on you but you were more than its equal. If a taste of immortality is to ever be taken, it can be found in those youthful moments of staying up all night.



Anyway, smacking my head on the sink has been a great evening. I think my girlfriend will agree. I love looking at the plaster on my eye and with my stubble and jumper I really feel like a man's man. And I am. I am a man's man who, when all is said and done, people will be able to say of me, "He was a man - a man who didn't piss on himself. He chose to smack his head on a sink and pass out rather than become one of those people who will happily wet themselves. Let us think of him not as a hero, not as an inspiration and an icon - but simply as a man. An inspirational and iconic man. May angels be with him always and may we draw inspiration from him eternally."



I imagine many of you will want to shake my hand and have selfies taken with me. Please get in touch as this can be arranged - although I want to say loudly and in as many ways as I can - that I am a quiet man of few words.



Thank you.



Lee Kern, BA (hons) MA (Cantab), non pisser of self, icon, hero, exceptional ordinary bloke http://ift.tt/1vcTHoB



from UK Comedy - The Huffington Post http://ift.tt/12mRVLM

Brand 'Annoyed' At 'Snide' Reporter Whose Questioning Led To Downing Street Standoff

This Is What Happens When You Go Driving After You Just Broke Up With Someone

Single? Just been dumped? Feel like the world is full of happy, loved-up couples?



Then you'll like this little sketch by Oli Lord - which neatly evokes the feelings of sadness, despair and bitterness all newly single people have felt at some time or other. Normally just after they've been ditched...



(Via Tastefully Offensive) http://ift.tt/eA8V8J



from UK Comedy - The Huffington Post http://ift.tt/1vhDhjP

Men Race Thames Clipper Boat

When he raced a Tube, he won.



Now take a look at what happened when James Heptonstall and his friend Noel Carroll tried to race the Thames Clipper from the London Eye to Bankside Pier.



That's 2.2km in under 8 minutes 30 seconds.



SEE ALSO: Race The Tube: The Glasgow Version

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from UK Comedy - The Huffington Post http://ift.tt/1AbZj7x

Roger Daltrey Gives Impromptu Performance At Couple's Wedding Reception. As You Do. When You're Roger Daltrey.

Picture the scene. You're at a wedding reception in a hotel near Glasgow. When guess who takes to the stage with the function band? Roger Daltrey, of course!



And now that you've got over your shock, you get to enjoy his performance of The Who's 'Can't Explain' with the aforementioned function band. And it's all rather marvellous. And surreal.



"Absolutely overwhelming! The story we will be telling for the rest of our lives. Thank you so much," posted the bride, Susan Smith, on Facebook.



"Can't believe it happened, feels so surreal, thank you so much, you made our perfect day even better, a gent and a legend," added her new hubby, Carl Smith.



"Can't thank Roger enough, what a gentleman and complete legend! Dream come true not only for me but for all the band, what an experience!" wrote Graeme Allan, the drummer in the function band (who are called Milestone and who have proudly, and understandably, posted the video to YouTube as 'Milestone feat. Roger Daltrey').



This is why you should always hold your wedding reception in a five-star hotel, people - because there might just be a rock star staying there, too.



All we can say is: thank goodness they hadn't booked a string quartet.

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from UK Comedy - The Huffington Post http://ift.tt/1vclJk9

Bing Crosby And David Bowie's 'Little Drummer Boy' Without The Music Is Very Funny (And Rather Awkward)

Here at HuffPost UK Comedy, we're big fans of Mario Wienerroither. He's the creator of the 'musicless music video' phenomenon (see below for more of his work) - and his latest upload is a suitably festive one.



Yes, step forward young David Bowie and not-quite-as-young Bing Cosby, in the video to your Christmas hit 'Peace On Earth/Little Drummer Boy'.



It was recorded in 1977 for Crosby's TV special 'Bing Crosby's Merrie Olde Christmas' - and you can watch the original below. It's almost as awkward as Wienerroither's version above...







More Musicless Music Videos:




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from UK Comedy - The Huffington Post http://ift.tt/1wjeopw

This Video Of A Golden Retriever Playing With Her Puppies In The Snow Definitely Makes The World A Better Place

The only thing better than a video of a Golden Retriever?



A video of a Golden Retriever playing with her nine (count 'em!) seven-week-old puppies.



And the only thing better than that?



A video of a Golden Retriever playing with her nine (count 'em!) seven-week-old puppies in the snow.



Yes, if you need a smile right now, we highly recommend hitting 'play' above...



SEE ALSO:







(Via Twenty Two Words) http://ift.tt/eA8V8J



from UK Comedy - The Huffington Post http://ift.tt/1yC1XmX

David Cameron Has Made A Facebook 'Thanks' Video For Nick Clegg, And It's Truly Touching

The Prime Minister has joined the craze for Facebook 'Say Thanks' videos, and paid tribute to Nick Clegg. Aww!



(Facebook admin for David Cameron by Robin Flavell and Handface.) http://ift.tt/eA8V8J



from UK Comedy - The Huffington Post http://ift.tt/1rSnCYM

Brain Teaser 12/2/2014

FOOD....



1. What food never goes bad by natural means?



2. A man named Tom walks into a restaurant for lunch. He asks the waitress if she is good at solving puzzles. She replies, "I am the best." So Tom says, "I'll have sausage and noodles drenched with ice cream, hashed. And if you bring me what I really want I'll leave you a $100 tip." A few minutes later she brought him exactly what he wanted, and he left her the large tip. What did Tom really eat for lunch?

Solution

||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

Can You Master The Ken Ken Puzzle?





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3d wooden brain teasers from craftypuzzles.com

A man lived in a French airport departure lounge for 17 years…

MKNasseri-cropped A man lived in a French airport departure lounge for 17 years. He entered the airport and ‘lost’ his passport. As he had no passport he could not fly to his destination, the UK, but he had entered France legally so could not be expelled.






from Crazy Facts http://ift.tt/11NIowe

A cabbie told Bill Murray that he was frustrated that he drove…

Bill-Murray A cabbie told Bill Murray that he was frustrated that he drove 14 hours a day and didn’t have enough time to practice playing his saxophone. So Bill Murray drove the cab while the cabbie sat in the back and practiced.






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MTV banned Beavis and Butthead from referencing fire, specifically Beavis…

Beavis-and-Butt-head MTV banned Beavis and Butthead from referencing fire, specifically Beavis’ “Fire” chant, after an arson was blamed on the show. In response, the show had Beavis chant words similar to fire such as fryer. The ban was lifted for the revival and Beavis says fire 7 times in the first video segment.






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From 2003 to 2008 over $40 Billions in cash was flown from the Federal…

From 2003 to 2008 over $40 Billions in cash was flown from the Federal Reserve to Baghdad. Now nobody knows what happened to the money.






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Conditions seemed so bleak in America during the Great Depression…

Conditions seemed so bleak in America during the Great Depression that people in Cameroon sent $3.77 to New York for food relief.






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Tony Blair's Christmas Card Has Got Nothing On These Awkward Festive Family Photos

Today in History for 2nd December 2014

Historical Events


1902 - Soccer team Go Ahead forms in Deventer

1941 - Largest roller skating rink (outside of NYC) opens in Peekskill NY

1961 - Fidel Castro declares he's a Marxist, and will lead Cuba to Communism

1992 - WQEW-AM radio replaces WQXR on 1560 in NYC

1993 - Space shuttle STS-61 (Endeavour 5), launches

2012 - Borut Pahor is elected President of Slovenia


More Historical Events »


Famous Birthdays


1728 - Ferdinando Galiani, Italian economist/philosopher/diplomat

1902 - Horace A Hildreth, (Gov-Maine, 1945-49)

1929 - Jaap Boersma, Dutch minister for Social Affairs (ARP)

1940 - Willie Brown, NFL defensive back (Denver Broncos, Oakland Raiders)

1964 - Yolanda Henry, Houston Texas, high jumper

1973 - Jan Ullrich, German cyclist


More Famous Birthdays »


Famous Deaths


1860 - Alfred Bunn, British theatrical manager (b. 1796)

1963 - Sabu Sabu, actor (Jungle Book, Drums), dies of heart attack at 39

1967 - Francis J "Cardinal" Spellman, archbishop of NY, dies at 78

1974 - Sofie-Carmen Eckhardt-Gramatte, composer, dies at 72

1988 - Tata Giacobetti, Italian singer and lyricist (Quartetto Cetra)

2009 - Foge Fazio, American college football coach (b. 1938)


More Famous Deaths »






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