Wednesday, 12 November 2014

Today's Daily Brain Teaser (Nov 13, 2014)

2 in One



We are often dangerous

But to some we are fun

To others we are frightening

Causing them to run

We come together

Though we seem apart

You see me and you hear my brother

Who oft times makes little ones run to their mothers,

I am bright and my brother is loud

And it may seem that we come from a cloud, What are we?





Check Braingle.com for the answer.





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Got That Purp

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Russell Brand: An Imagined Riposte

"You say you want a revolution," sang those lovable moptops, those Dionysian behemoths of the 1960s, those sex chameleons who made girls widdle in their drawers, The Beatles. And who would have thought that just half a century later, li'l old me, your ever-faithful Russy-Wuss, would be the one spearheading that heady pipe dream. And what makes it even better is that you, my fellow man, you 'andsome old devil, you virile son of a gun, you, can join me in making this giant slab of spherical rock a better place. I'll even let you bring your girlfriend along if you'd like - the revolution still needs hot meals, you know; we're not savages!



It's not a task you throw yourself into light-heartedly, this revolution lark, but I've been preparing for it since birth. The moment I sprang from my mother's loins, I gave the midwife a sly wink (she was a bit of a sort) and immediately set about learning the ways of the world and Mother Nature (another sort). Throughout my school days, where the only thing I learnt is that academia - like so much else in the modern world - is entirely superfluous, I would form groups, I would lead rebellions, I would engage my fellow unkempt urchins in the art of protest and disobedience. It was akin to Just William being set in Grays. Obviously this would encourage the wrath of some stuffy headmaster who wouldn't know fun if it bit him on the old meat and two veg, and I was often forced to sit in the corner and read a thesaurus as punishment.



"So, Russell, leader of men, what does such a revolution entail?" I hear you ponder, as the cogs of your thinkbox trundle around, desperately in need of a quick spritz with the WD-40. "Surely it can't be all Bacchanalian orgies with lustrous nymphs?" "I wish!" I'd retort, guffawing whilst growing ever more tumescent at the thought of such an idea. You might think a revolution might involve some sort of military coup but I'm a pacifist at heart, and it's a lot simpler than that.



Since the bloody politicians and their banker cronies left us having to eat Honey Nut Cheerios three times a day just to get a square meal, everyone's been concerned about the economy. No-one seems to have much of the dosh, the greenstuff, the moolah these days (except me that is, but that can't be helped, and isn't of any consequence really) and people are being right grizzlebags about it. But there's a simple solution. Just find yourself a benevolent, multi-national publishing conglomerate with a questionable line in tax avoidance, and they'll hand over a healthy wodge as an advance whilst you pen your magnum opus. No more tins of beans for dinner for you. Gawd love a duck, Russ has only gone and done it again!



I've also had a fair bit of stick from Paxo and his Oxbridge chums about my reluctance to vote, as if my marking a bit of papyrus with a cross is ever going to change anything. Really this is class war. These people are annoyed that one of the oiks, an Essex lad who one day dreamed of changing the world, would have the impudence, the front, the gall, the downright cheek to tell the suits that it's time for change around here. Jump aboard my bandwagon, one and all, don't vote in the next general election (not sure when that is, you can probably find out on Googly-Woogly though) and the whole political system, that sinister cabal, will be brought to its knees by your silent action. We'll be a nation of Hare Krishnas - what a utopia! You might be scratching your noggin wondering how not voting will topple an elected government but you mark my words. I'm sure you can fill in the blanks yourself - you're such a gorgeous creature, look at you, you're practically edible.



There's probably a load of other stuff I should address but look at the time - we can't stand around all day gassing, can we? What are we, a bunch of women or something?! I'm not the messiah, and I've certainly been a naughty boy in the past, but some bloke once said something about sin and stones that resonates pretty well here, I reckon. We're all right brassed off with the state of this nation and over the past 800 or so words - each one as crucial and irremovable and important as the last - you'll surely concur I've provided watertight, incontrovertible, rigorous and downright sexy proof that this revolution will work and that it needs to happen. Until next time, fellow revolutionaries.



As told to Joe Rivers http://ift.tt/eA8V8J



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Flash

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Dapper No Longer Laughs

This week Daniel O'Reilly, better known as Dapper Laughs has trended more times than Christmas. If you've been living under a rock the ITV2 comedian has been slammed for a YouTube video from his live show that see's the comedian glorify rape and even go as far as explicitly telling a female audience member she's 'gagging for a rape'.



Dapper rose to fame via the video social media app Vine. His posts consist of short clips that see him asking women on the street to show him their gash and 'how to get girls to perform oral sex'.



Dapper's vines normalise everyday sexism and the objectification of young women, they are often derogatory towards larger women with some clips showing men 'how to get fat women into bed...' with a slice of cake.



Others are more extreme and advocate violence towards women - in one clip O'Reilly asks 'how do you get a woman to show you her tits?' - a knife is revealed and he continues, 'turn around and lift up your fucking shirt'.



Earlier this week Dapper issued a short statement on Twitter to reassure us that he was only pushing the boundaries of entertainment and that meant taking risks. Dapper has become public enemy number one until Katie Hopkins gets back from her holidays.



Shortly after #DapperLaughs began to trend, ITV2 announced that the second series of 'On The Pull' has been axed after an online petition of 50,000 signatures had called for it.



On Tuesday Daniel appeared on News Night and faced some brilliant questioning from Emily Maitlis. In a somber black polo neck the comedian told Emily he was playing a character and of course does not condone sexism. He went on to say he'll stop playing the character and will stop it from being promoted - we should push for this to translate into him deleting Dapper's profiles from social media. So Dapper was to blame not Daniel?



I don't believe O'Reilly's defense or plea of juvenility - I'd like to ask him if he thought women would be more or less likely to be sexually assaulted as a result of his risk taking.



I think he was totally aware of his actions and genuinely found them amusing but I think the motive behind all of this was far darker - a hunger for fame.



Producing these pithy posts gained him followers - it's a short cut route to notoriety that the likes of the aforementioned Hopkins know how to navigate. A following, no matter how acquired equates to fame and if there is anything our society objectifies more than women its celebrity. So is celebrity culture to blame?



However, I don't think O'Reilly is the one we need to be worried about - the real problem here is the fact it had an audience and was given a platform.



Dapper was about to embark on a sell out tour of the UK, playing 800-1500 capacity venues all of which are owned by O2. His ITV2 show was commissioned and lined up for a second series - lets not forget the Vine clips were what got him commissioned in the first place, so are ITV and O2 to blame?



O'Reilly has 2.8m followers across 5 social media platforms - why have none of these platforms removed his content or shut down his profiles? A few months ago Facebook was closing accounts of drag queens that used stage names in place of birth names - hosting content that encourages everyday sexism and violence towards women is evidently not on the agenda, so is the Internet to blame?



Who is following him on these platforms? Young men. With celebrities like Dapper who endorse this lad humor can we blame the role models? As Abi Wilkinson revealed when she questioned Dapper's misogyny his thoughts are shared with thousands of young men across the world. So are men to blame?



In a generation where revenge porn is easier to get hold of than a working wage job the accessibility and glorification of violence towards women has been normalised. So is porn to blame?



If we can learn anything from Dapper it's that the great gender divide is wider than we might have thought, gender equality is way off even after this years summer of pop-feminism, porn is normalising violence towards women, men are still using violence and the treat of it to overpower women and so the world is more f**ked than we thought - or is it?



We know all of this stuff. I am telling you nothing new. Perhaps it's us who are to blame? Perhaps we need to move away from blame culture. We know this stuff exists but are passive towards it - this culture can be reversed.



...and for any young men reading this and genuinely wanting to know how do you get a woman to show you her tits? She'll show you them if she wants to. http://ift.tt/eA8V8J



from UK Comedy - The Huffington Post http://ift.tt/14dMoYm

Wyatt The Baby Can Play The Drums Better Than You

And by 'you', we do of course mean 'us'.



Wyatt gets a little help from his dad, natch. Well, you can't be expected to get all the Pantera licks down at quite such a young age, can you?



(Via Pleated Jeans)

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from UK Comedy - The Huffington Post http://ift.tt/14dMoHZ

This May Just Be The World's Fastest Coke Vending Machine

"This machine in Lerna, IL is rumored to be the world's fastest," explains the description on this YouTube video.



"It is said that you cannot push the button and catch the drink with the same hand. We decided to give it a try..."



Check out what happens. It really is, as the late, great David Coleman used to say, quite remarkable.



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This IT Company May Have Just Made The Best Advert Ever

That's it. We're upping sticks and moving to Stafford.



Why, you may ask?



Well, apart from the excellent train connections and not unappealing town centre, it's home to Risual.



Risual, an IT company who have parodied all terrible/awkward/cheesy IT company adverts in this, their... IT company advert.



It's a thing of beauty - and comedy - and if their work for Microsoft is as good as their scripting and ad-making skills, well, we'd use them in a flash. Or, indeed, Flash.



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The Bad Sex In Fiction Award 2014 Shortlist Announced: Read Passages From The Offending Books

'Wow No Cow:' Oatly CEO Toni Petersson Extols Virtues Of Oat Milk In Quirky Video

You may find yourself wondering what Oatly’s CEO, Toni Petersson, is doing in a field of oats with a 1980s synth in his latest Toni TV video.



Singing a song he wrote on his own, "Wow No Cow," Petersson, wearing a "No Artificial Badness" T-shirt, wants to spread the brand's message about growing, harvesting, picking and turning oats into "liquid goodness" to drink and eat to a wider online audience and explain what Oatly is about.



Filmed in the oat fields between Halmstad and Göteborg in western Sweden, where Oatly HQ is located, and created by award-winning agency Forsman & Bodenfors, the off-beat video vocalises Oatly's mission of responsibly creating healthy, plant-based products that minimise environmental impact.





oatly toni petersson





"I’m working at a company where the sole purpose of what we do is to make it easy for people to turn what they eat and drink into personal moments of healthy joy without recklessly taxing the planet’s resources in the process. That feels pretty good," says Petersson.



Founded in the early 1990s, Oatly uses only Swedish-grown oats for its range of protein and fibre-rich oat products, which include a calcium and vitamin-enriched oat drink, flavoured oat drinks (chocolate, chai, apple pear and orange mango) and yogurt, cream, and ice cream products, all made with an oat base instead of dairy.



SEE ALSO:









Forget almonds, soy, rice (and most of all cows) and check out Oatly CEO Toni Petersson in action singing, "Wow no cow" in this video.



"When they first told me they wanted me to sing a song in an oat field I seriously thought they were kidding. How could that ever work to tell our story? I didn’t originally have time to write a song so they wrote one for me and I really hated it - don’t they think I have any creative integrity?" asks Petersson.



"So I wrote something I felt I could put my name on and then went out in the middle of the oat field with a synth from the 80s and tried to play it." http://ift.tt/1pQQwrd



from UK Comedy - The Huffington Post http://ift.tt/10VMWQv

An Urgent Appeal On Behalf Of Arms Dealers

War. Repression. Do you care about these things? These people do.



Watch our charity appeal on behalf of arms dealers everywhere, created by David Schneider and Handface.



READ MORE:





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Check Out The Incredible Dog-Shrinking Machine!

Consider our minds. BLOWN.



SEE ALSO:








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A snowstorm can’t keep this determined Canadian motorcyclist…

A snowstorm can’t keep this determined Canadian motorcyclist off the highway.







from Crazy Facts http://ift.tt/1wld681

When a diner called a gay couple “fags” and asked them to leave…

When a diner called a gay couple “fags” and asked them to leave, online activists made it the most highly rated gay bar in Texas using Yelp reviews.






from Crazy Facts http://ift.tt/1oKXAF4

After the bombing of Hiroshima, there were “ant-walking…

After the bombing of Hiroshima, there were “ant-walking alligators” that the survivors saw everywhere, men and women who “were now eyeless and faceless — with their heads transformed into blackened alligator hides displaying red holes, indicating mouths. The alligator people did not scream. Their mouths could not form the sounds. The noise they made was worse than screaming. They uttered a continuous murmur — like locusts on a midsummer night. One man, staggering on charred stumps of legs, was carrying a dead baby upside down.”






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Over 90% of the population of Canada lives…

Over 90% of the population of Canada lives within 100 miles of the U.S. border.






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The most powerful commercial radio station ever was WLW…

The most powerful commercial radio station ever was WLW (700KHz AM), which during certain times in the 1930s broadcasted 500kW radiated power. At night, it covered half the globe. Neighbors within the vicinity of the transmitter heard the audio in their pots, pans, and mattresses.






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In September 1989, British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher pleaded…

In September 1989, British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher pleaded with Soviet President Mikhail Gorbachev not to let the Berlin Wall fall and confided that she wanted the Soviet leader to do what he could to stop it. She (and the French President) were fearful that a unified Germany would disrupt the “balance of power” in Europe.






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This Baby Really Loves Her Musical Birthday Card

And who can blame her? Musical birthday cards are, after all, simply wonderful things... if you've just turned one.



And they're especially wonderful if they play the hamster dance.



Take it away, kid! Show us your moves!



(Via Tastefully Offensive)



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The Rise And Fall Of Dapper Laughs: How It Happened

Brain Teaser 11/12/2014

1. Robert and David were preparing to have a water balloon fight. "No Fair" cried Robert, "You have 3 times as many as I do!" David said "Fine!" and gave Robert 10 more balloons. "Still not fair!" argued Robert, "You still have twice as many as I do." How many more balloons must David give Robert for them to have the same number?



2. A pregnant woman is preparing to name her seventh child. Her children's names so far are Dominique, Regis, Michelle, Fawn, Sophie and Lara. What will she name her next child -- Jessica, Katie, Abby or Tilly?

Solution

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Ultimate IQ Tests: 1000 Practice Test Questions to Boost Your Brain Power





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Today in History for 12th November 2014

Historical Events


1908 - Andrew Fisher assumes the position of prime minister for what turns out to be a short-lived second Labour government, Australia

1936 - St Louis Browns sold to Donald L Barnes and William O DeWitt

1947 - Schilderijenvervalser Han of Meegeren to 1 years jail sentenced

1966 - Dodgers complete an 18-game tour of Japan with a 9-8-1 record

1981 - 2nd shuttle mission-1st time spacecraft launched twice (Columbia 2)

1983 - NJ Devils 1st overtime game, lose to Calgary Flames 4-3


More Historical Events »


Famous Birthdays


1886 - Ben Travers, British playwright (d. 1980)

1917 - Joseph Coors, CEO (Adolph Coors Co Brewery)

1941 - Jennifer Helen McLeod, composer

1943 - Wallace Shawn, NYC, actor (My Dinner with Andre, Princess Bride)

1973 - Mayte Garcia, American dancer

1978 - Andrew Kinlochan, English singer and musician


More Famous Birthdays »


Famous Deaths


1757 - Colley Cibber, English poet (b. 1671)

1939 - Norman Bethune, Canadian doctor and humanitarian (b. 1890)

1944 - Edgar Stillman Kelley, US composer (Gulliver), dies at 87

1980 - Andrei Amalrik, Russian writer/dissident, dies at 42

1996 - Don Kenyon, cricketer, dies at 72

2012 - Sergio Oliva, American body builder, dies at 71


More Famous Deaths »






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