Today's Daily Brain Teaser (Sep 26, 2014)

Not Blue, but Green Is the Sky



My rings tell such a story

Of years past with gracious glory

Where I live is where I stay

From that spot I cannot stray

From my home man taketh me

So they can erect another home, you see

Many others bore into my sides

These things that crawl and things that glide

I weep with beauty or stand with grace

Every year I shed myself to nourish my place



What am I?





Check Braingle.com for the answer.

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Spoiler Alert

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9 Signs That Suggest You're About To Lose An Election

The pattern for modern elections has now been set. Whether it be the 2012 presidential race, the recent Scottish referendum or the forthcoming UK general election, social media has turned erstwhile casual voters into hardened campaigners… sort of.



There are, however, indicators that suggest that your side might not do so well on polling day. To give you a better chance of winning, here are 9 definitive signs that your party is about to lose the election. If any of these sound familiar, prepare for disappointment:

• Six weeks before polling day, you decide that this election is the seminal moment of your life. You will mark this historic epiphany by changing your Twitter profile and/or Facebook picture to reflect your vote.


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• You set about carefully educating yourself on the key issues of the election by watching the most inflammatory, ill-informed and reactionary YouTube clips that endorse your position.


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• You will attack any unfavourable polling published in newspapers, demanding to know the “sample size” even though it’s clearly written at the bottom of every article. You will then skillfully discredit the data by posting comments such as: “Well they didn’t ask me.”


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• You convince yourself that “biased media” is lying to voters. You post comments on the Facebook walls of the “prejudiced cabal”, decrying their duplicity before vowing never to return. Ten minutes later you return to post another series of comments.


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  'Your newspaper clearly has an agenda...'
  
  
  
  


• You find yourself using the sentence, “I’m not a conspiracy theorist, but…” before detailing a nefarious plot incorporating the secret service, Rupert Murdoch and the Bilderberg group – all of whom are in cahoots to rob you of your vote.


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• You decide that voters and politicians opposing your position are mentally ill, and it’s your duty to combat their falsehoods through attacks on Twitter. Anyone posting facts is to be exposed as a traitor and agent of the state.


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• Despite being weary from a hard-fought election campaign in which you haven’t knocked on a single door or made a single phone call, you pull yourself away from your computer to go and get pissed while the results roll in.


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• The day after defeat you console yourself with the knowledge that the fight isn’t over. "The campaign begins again in earnest," you say, defiantly. You are now on the front line, a relentless activist for a better future.


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• You then join a Facebook group investigating election fraud and sign a petition demanding the “rigged” vote is rerun.

SEE ALSO:

• Boris To Hold A Referendum On Becoming An Independent Country

• The 12-Stage 'Evolution' Of A Richard Dawkins Twitter Scandal

• Fox: 'What Part Of This Can't You Get Through Your Thick Head?'


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  • James McAvoy Warns Scots There Is 'No Way Back'
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  • Farage Accuses Salmond Of 'Stirring Up Anti-English Hatred'
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  • Mystery Over Timing Of Steven Sotloff Killing
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  • Islamic State Has Invaded US Mainland Via Mexican Border
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  • Seagal Visits Russian Arms Fair In Moscow
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  • 'Anti-Muslim Hate Group' Holds Pro-Israel Rally In NY
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  • ISIS Carry Out Regular 'Executions, Amputations, Mock Crucifixions'
  
  
  
  

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Exercise Ball Fails: A Compilation

There are many uses for an exercise ball.



These are none of them.



(Warning: watching this video may induce feelings of being winded, and/or Schadenfreude.) http://ift.tt/eA8V8J



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In order to be fair to all religions, in addition to Bibles, kids in some Florida schools are also going….

In order to be fair to all religions, in addition to Bibles, kids in some Florida schools are also going to have access to literature from their local Satanic Temple. The most intriguing of the documents to be passed out to interested children is an activity book including puzzles and coloring pages.

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iPhone 6 'Won't Bend If You Don't Wear Skinny Jeans'

Through 50 years of experimentation investigating the domestication of wolves…

Through 50 years of experimentation investigating the domestication of wolves, scientists in the USSR (and later Russia) successfully domesticated the Silver Fox, a breed of foxes that behave like dogs.

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A nightmare refers to a literal night mare: a “mare”…

A nightmare refers to a literal night mare: a “mare” is a demon which gives you bad dreams.

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There is a sausage restaurant in Regensburg, Germany which is in business…

There is a sausage restaurant in Regensburg, Germany which is in business since 900 years. That means they were selling sausages well before the Inca Empire existed and are still serving 6,000 sausages a day.

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Tom Cruise vandalized the world’s tallest building in 2010. During…

Tom Cruise vandalized the world’s tallest building in 2010. During the filming of Mission: Impossible 4, he climbed to the top of the Burj Khalifa (without safety equipment) and etched Katie Holmes’ name into the spire.

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These Kids Tried To Celebrate Their American Football Win By Running Through A Banner. It Didn't Quite Work.

Two words: BLESS. THEM.



Yes, the New York-based Wallkill Mighty Mites (age 6-7) recently won their first home game of the season 24-0. 24-0!



So naturally, they wanted to celebrate their big win with a big gesture.



Cue them storming a vinyl banner... or at least trying to.



“We were running as fast as we can. The coach said ‘Go, go, go,'” little Liam Sullivan told CBS 2.



Sadly, however, it turned out that the banner is mightier than the Mighty Mites.



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The emperor penguin can dive to a depth of 1,850 ft (565 m) – deeper…

The emperor penguin can dive to a depth of 1,850 ft (565 m) – deeper than any other bird, and deeper than the operational range of most naval submarines.

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The highest observed temperature in the universe was briefly…

The highest observed temperature in the universe was briefly seen at the Large Hadron Collider at CERN. It’s magnitude was 7.2 trillion degrees Fahrenheit.

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Norway had to close a tunnel because it…

Norway had to close a tunnel because it was full of burning cheese.

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There is a site that offers a fake internet girlfriend service…

There is a site that offers a fake internet girlfriend service for $250 a month which includes setting up a profile on a social networking site like Facebook to publicly communicate with you, making up to 2 public phone calls and 10 text messages

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'Thou Art As Loathsome As A Toad': If Shakespearean Insults Were Used Today

Anglophenia's Siobhan Thompson has already shown the world how to insult someone like a Brit.



Now, she's taking it one stage further - and taking it back in time.



Yes, we may use plenty of Shakespearean phrases in everyday conversations - but sadly, many of his insults are no longer uttered.



So here's Thompson, bringing them back and showing us how we can use them in the workplace. Take that, swaggering rascals!

SEE ALSO: 45 Everyday Phrases Coined By Shakespeare

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Ed Miliband's 'Together' Speech Gets Mashed Up With Pet Shop Boys' 'Go West'

You could be forgiven for thinking that the buzzword of Ed Miliband's Labour party conference speech was 'Gareth'.



But it was, in fact, 'together'. Miliband used the word a total of 51 times, and as some people on Twitter pointed out, it was rather reminiscent of a certain 1993 pop hit:

"Together! We can... " Ed Miliband channeling the Pet Shop Boys here in Manchester

— steve hawkes (@steve_hawkes) September 23, 2014

Ed Miliband is currently reciting the little known 7th verse of Go West

'Together something la la la

Together yada yada ya etc'

— Mat-a-tat-tat (@MatofKilburnia) September 23, 2014

So thank you, 'Newsnight', for making the mash-up of Miliband and the Pet Shop Boys the world has been waiting for (since Tuesday).

SEE ALSO: The Funniest Twitter Reactions To Ed Miliband's Speech

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This Cat Watching A Newborn Baby Is The Best 11-Second Video You'll See Today

Because sometimes a video doesn't need to be longer than 11 seconds to show us what we need to see - right?



"Until today, Spot was the only baby in the house," explains YouTuber - and new mum - Dani Girl. "He is not too thrilled."



Indeed. As this short-but-sweet video shows, Spot is keeping a very close eye on his new rival...



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Jason Orange Quits Take That. Twitter Responds - Here Are 10 Of The Best So Far...

Brain Teaser 9/25/2014

1. Round I start, yet no shape have I.

Allow me to breathe, and my life will die.

The older I grow, the more sought after I become.

You will feel much better when I am done.

What am I?



2. A 30 year old man married a 25 year old woman. She died at age 50 and her husband was so devastated that he cried for years. Ten years after he stopped crying, he died. If he had lived to be 80, how many years was he a widower?

Solution

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Can You Master The Ken Ken Puzzle?

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This Dog Has A Very Strange Reaction Every Time Her Owner Uses The Ice Machine

Sophie the dog inexplicably attacks Neo the cat every time their owner Ryan Shanaman uses the ice machine in the kitchen.



We have no idea why. And nor, it seems, does Shanaman.



Nor, indeed, does Neo - who has to bear the brunt of all this, and presumably spends a lot of time away from the kitchen during the hot summer months. Bless!



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from UK Comedy - The Huffington Post http://ift.tt/1vgU197

Crisis Hotline Opened For 30- And 40-Something Women After Jason Orange Leaves Take That

A telephone hotline has been set up for women in their 30s and 40s, following the news that Jason Orange is leaving Take That.



Thousands of distraught women have already believed to have called the helpline in tears, desperate to share their shock and disbelief.





How deep was their love: The women in 1996




"I'm so grateful this helpline has been set up," one 30-something fan told HuffPostUK Comedy. "Jason was always my favourite - after the cute one, the fat one, the piano-playing one and the other one."



"This is worse than when Robbie left, because at least we knew he had a successful solo career ahead of him," said another woman, through tears.



"I just want to say to Jason: whatever I said, whatever I did, I didn't mean it. I just want you back for good."



Calls to the hotline are free to all fans who also called the hotline in 1996. For others, calls cost 39p per minute, but this is tax deductible.





Jason Orange: Leaving to spend more time with his beard and parka




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Nigel Farage Finally Comes Out And Backs Europe In Utterly Brilliant, Self-Deprecating Video

Britain's Eurosceptic-in-chief, Nigel Farage, has finally come out and backed Europe.



But it's not quite what you think. The Ukip leader has taken a starring turn in a self-deprecating advert for Paddy Power to back team Europe in the Ryder Cup.



With the trans-Atlantic golf battle set to tee off this week, Farage filmed a mock party political broadcast in a dramatic, and surprisingly funny rallying cry of support for Team Europe, who will be facing the USA at Gleneagles in Scotland this Friday.



In the video, Farage lists his top reasons for why everyone should back Europe, urging the boys to show those "fist-bumping, flag-waving Yanks" what us Europeans are really made of once and for all.







In the words of the pop duo 2Unlimited, who coincidentally were No 1 when the US last took home a victory, Farage claims that there's quite literally "no no no no, limit to the talent of this young European team."



Speaking on the strength of the competition, Farage questions Tiger Woods' excuse as to why he's a no show for this year's showdown, "...hurt his back. How did you do that Tiger? Carrying the hopes and dreams of a nation?"



Farage added, "I'm not the greatest fan of an ever closer union inside Europe, but when it comes to the Ryder Cup, we're better together. I'm urging all my fellow Europeans to get behind Team Europe and send Uncle Sam packing."

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Today in History for 25th September 2014

Historical Events

1513 - Vasco Nunez de Balboa is first European to see Pacific Ocean

1780 - Benedict Arnold joins the British

1955 - Patty Berg wins LPGA Clock Golf Open

1962 - Yankees clinch AL pennant

1988 - Florence Griffith Joyner runs Olympic record 100m in 10.54s

1992 - US Mars Observer launched from Space shuttle

More Historical Events »

Famous Birthdays

1744 - Frederick Willem II, king of Prussia (1786-97)

1780 - Jason Fairbanks, American murderer (d. 1801)

1881 - Lu Xun, Chinese writer (d. 1936)

1897 - William Faulkner, New Albany Mississippi, author (Sound and Fury-Nobel 1949), (d. 1962)

1929 - John Rutherford, cricketer (one Test for Australia 1956)

1944 - Grayson Shillingford, cricket bowler (WI 1969-71, 7 Tests 15 wickets)

More Famous Birthdays »

Famous Deaths

1808 - Richard Porson, scholar, dies

1876 - A Glabbrenner, writer, dies at 66

1926 - Herbert Booth, son of William and Catherine Booth (b. 1862)

1991 - Klaus Barbie, Gestapo chief of Lyon, dies of cancer at 77

2003 - Herb Gardner, American playwright (b. 1934)

2006 - Jeff Cooper, American firearms expert (b. 1920)

More Famous Deaths »

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