Functioning Alcoholics Taking A Month Off Drinking To Prove They Don't Have A Drink Problem

Functioning alcoholics across Britain have given up drinking in an attempt to prove that they don't have a problem with drinking.



"I absolutely don't have a problem with alcohol, which is why I'm having to take off a month off from it," one told HuffPost UK Comedy.



"Of course I don't have a problem," said another. "I can stop anytime I like. But I only usually stop in January, when it's acceptable to."







Millions of people in Britain are thought to be having a 'Dry January', the month which traditionally follows 'Bender December'.



"Frankly, it's only the thought that I can have a drink again in February that's keeping me going," said one.



"But giving it up until then clearly proves that I'm in no way craving it."

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from UK Comedy - The Huffington Post http://ift.tt/1yvMtDH

Brain Teaser 1/6/2015

1. What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?



2. Not born, but from a Mother's body drawn, I hang until half of me is gone. I sleep in a cave until I grow old, then valued for my hardened gold. What am I?



3. Monique is 24 years old. She is twice the age that Valerie had when Monique was the same age that Valerie is now. How old is Valerie?

Solution

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Gourmet Gifts: Browse our large selection of gift baskets and gourmet food items like exotic teas, smoked salmon and decadent chocolates.

from A Daily Brain Teaser http://ift.tt/1xz0jE2

3d wooden brain teasers from craftypuzzles.com

Very Real Sasquatch Family Spotted On Arizona Highway, Official Agency Warns

A government agency has taken to Facebook to warn it may have spotted 'a family of sasquatches' by a highway.



Nearly 2,500 people have shared the Arizona Department For Transportation's Facebook post that shows, in true Sasquatch/Big Foot sighting style, a series of blurry black lines that is clearly something else.

Post by Arizona Department of Transportation.

The department said it was intended as a joke.



Spokesman Tim Tait told ABC News: "We always try to have a little fun with our Facebook and Twitter feeds.



“That way, we don’t just post news about crashes and road conditions but a little something to engage our audience in different ways.



“This posting was one of those efforts – something that caught our attention, and we thought it might make some people chuckle.”



As the eagle-eyed Huffington Post UK previously reported, Sasquatch, or Big Foot, has been spotted in Lincolnshire, Norway and the Canadian mountains in the last 12 months.



This was remarkably given that, in January last year, Big Foot was shot dead and the hunter who killed him planned to take his body on tour of America.

SEE ALSO:

• Does This Map Suggest Bigfoot Could Be Real?

• LOOK: Is This Bigfoot's Foot? Decomposing Limb Found In US Forest

• WATCH: 'Yeti & Baby Footage' Is Real, Says Abominable Snowman Academic

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from UK Comedy - The Huffington Post http://ift.tt/1AzMkyC

Absolutely Everyone Is Getting Married Except For You, New Statistics Show

Further evidence emerged today that absolutely everybody in the world is getting married apart from you.



A sample survey from the Mail Online showed that 90% of people have recently got hitched or are expected to walk down the aisle any day now.










"The wonderful thing about this survey is that it proves no matter what your age, gender or sexuality, everyone is blissfully happy and settling down with the love of the life," said the Daily Mail, "apart from you."








The remaining 10% of people are currently on holiday "flaunting their bikini bodies," said the Mail.



Jennifer Aniston remains unmarried.





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from UK Comedy - The Huffington Post http://ift.tt/14gUSh3

His Birthday Party Was Ruined, You Can't Blame This Kid For Flipping Out

This young boy was enjoying his birthday, but as he blew out the candles one of his guests thought it would be funny to push his head into the cake.



Well, it was funny. But not for the birthday boy.



Everyone's hopes for cake were destroyed in his retaliation, and we can't help but laugh.

Click here for more funny videos!

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from UK Comedy - The Huffington Post http://ift.tt/1AzJ9Hi

Perpetrators standing by…

Photo courtesy of Peter So.

QR code of an exhibitor’s booth in Guangzhou, China.

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Today in History for 6th January 2015

Historical Events

1842 - 4,500 British and Indian troops leave Kabul, massacred before India

1898 - 1st telephone message from a submerged submarine, by Simon Lake

1912 - Alfred Wegener, geophysicist and meteorologist, presents his controversial theory of continental drift in a lecture at a the Geological Association (Geologischen Vereinigung) at the Senckenberg-Museum, Frankfurt.

1964 - Rolling Stones' 1st tour as headline act (with Ronettes)

1971 - Berkeley chemists announces 1st synthetic growth hormones

1994 - Dow-Jones hits record 3803.88

More Historical Events »

Famous Birthdays

1617 - Kristoffer Gabel, Danish statesman (d. 1673)

1799 - Jedediah Strong Smith, US fur trader/explorer

1906 - Jaap Wagemaker, [Adrian B], Dutch sculptor

1911 - Yannis Andreou Papaioannou, composer

1962 - Michael Houser, Boone North Carolina, American guitarist (Widespread Panic)

1964 - Henry Maske, German boxer

More Famous Birthdays »

Famous Deaths

1884 - Paul Taglioni, "the Great," Ital/Austrian choreographer, dies at 75

1922 - Jakob Rosanes, German mathematician (b. 1842)

1941 - Charley O'Leary, American baseball player (b. 1882)

1945 - Vladimir Vernadsky, Russian mineralogist (b. 1863)

1959 - Jose Enrique Pedreira, composer, dies at 54

1964 - Edgar Maass, German/US author (Verdun), dies at 67

More Famous Deaths »

from Today in History | HistoryOrb.com http://ift.tt/UvDy29