Wednesday, 17 December 2014

Misheard Song Lyrics – The 2014 Edition

Pleated Jeans do their usual end-of-year honours and bring us the best lyrics you think you heard in 2014.



From Taylor Swift to Sam Smith, One Direction to Maroon 5, it's all delightfully silly stuff.



(Warning: contains some NSFW language and 'Let It Go'.)



SEE ALSO: Our 14 Favourite Viral Videos Of 2014





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'Double History': New Satire Blog Takes a Gleeful Poke at the Purists

How comfortably do history and satire sit together? Since the plays of Aristophanes, the fun that has been poked at taboo subjects belies a serious message, right up to the Spitting Image puppets cavorting on our screens in the 1980s. When the Seventeenth century spawned a rash of comedies of manners, it was to hold up a mirror to an absurd society, to reflect behaviours that had become bizarre and this is where the best satire succeeds, in highlighting a recognisable absurdity. The arrival of Double History this December, a new blog which has taken the facebook community by storm, has divided opinion over the purpose and relevance of satire which takes historical material as its subject.



To date, Double History has published posts that present almost viable theories, backed up with sound, apparently logical arguments, which might well convince the history dilettante. Questioning whether Edward IV was poisoned, if Richard III was a twin, whether he was killed instead of his brother Clarence, or if Edward V was actually a girl, the anonymous posts have been received with delight in some quarters and censure in others. Satire can be subtle, poking fun indirectly with certain clues that a cursory reading might overlook, and this is where the problem lies. While the blog posts are scholarly in tone and show a depth of understanding when it comes to the period, the clues certainly are there to indicate the authors' intentions. Citing sources like Ouija boards, spirit guides and ketchup, as well as texts like Smollett, Swift and Thomas More, "who came to me in a dream," Double History's tongue is firmly in its cheek for those who take the time to read their posts in their entirety.



Yet these satirical offerings have also been met with disapproval. The same objectors to the use of historical figures in novels have declared such gleeful fun to be disrespectful, even confusing, with some going as far as believing them to be misleading or deceitful. Whilst it is regrettable that perhaps some have, in their naivety, failed to notice the many indicators of genre which litter this blog, others have an objection to the partnering of history and satire. While the Horrible Histories series for children has been recognised as fitting within the Roald Dahl tradition of humour, it seems that the adult version, which Double History offers, is simply too opaque for some. Yet what exactly is being satirised here?



Double History appears not to be poking fun at the long-dead, about whom the writers are clearly well-informed; rather, it belongs within the tradition of a comedy of manners, exposing the frequent absurd and under-sourced theories that appear daily on facebook pages and the personal blogs of history enthusiasts. Its finger is gently but firmly pointed at the conspiracists and fantasists whose theories about the motivation and actions of people in the past defy logic, at those who defend historical characters from a position of emotion rather than rationality and at those who assert "facts" they have read in novels.



Double History is a fun, irreverent look at the way that memes of popular history are regurgitated until they fester into facts and the unbridled flights of fancy they give rise to. It is well worth a read, with its variety of anonymous authors contributing under different "Jeff" pseudonyms to tantalise your historical tastebuds and send you away with a smile on your face. Described as being history's version of The Onion, Double History, needs to be seen and enjoyed for what it is. There is certainly a place for a little light-heartedness amid the serious pursuit of the past. Keep up the good work, Jeffs.



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Just A Dog Helping Her Human To Build A Snowman

And your short-but-sweet video of the day is... this one!



Yes, Isabelle the dog is clearly a fan of this 'Frozen' song. Or at least a fan of frozen water...



SEE ALSO: The 14 Best Dog Videos Of 2014





(Via Rumble)

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Poundland's Christmas Decorations Are Riddled With Spelling Mistakes

We hate to say you get what you pay for, but...










Yes, if it's beginning to look a lot like Shristmas in your house, that could be because you bought your decorations from Poundland.



Customers are bombarding the store's Twitter account with pictures of what can only be described as, well, 'top quality bunting'...
























And unfortunately, because of @Poundland's habit of writing 'Hi' before a tweeter's name when they reply to them, everyone can see what that person's been complaining about...










Which then leads to yet more pictures coming in...










Dear oh dear. You had one festive job, Poundland. Or should that be Pnoudlnad?



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Richard Dawkins Letter to Santa

Dear Fraud,



Actually no, scratch that, I'm afraid 'fraud' simply doesn't do this abomination justice. Let me rephrase.



Dear Judas,



Which has to be considered an even greater insult as we all know there was never such a thing as Jesus and anyway Judas was the closest thing to a hero in that particular fable of pointlessness.



Mrs Drennan has insisted that the entire class undertake this ridiculous assignment and pointlessly write a letter to you, someone I consider both a highly unreliable and thoroughly dangerous creature. I made my feelings about this abundantly clear and insisted that I be released from this noxious and deceitful chore. However, she has likewise made it clear that by failing to subscribe to this litany of excreta my access to the monkey bars will be severely curtailed, so I find myself having no choice.



My fellow classmates, in line with their expected juvenile thinking, will probably be appealing to you for various redundant trinkets and ludicrous fripperies. How sad they are. However, my Christmas wish to you, so called Saint Nicholas, is quite straightforward. Simply prove to me that you exist. Offer me a rational and unambiguous example of your reality and I will no longer treat you as a flamboyant, bearded, reindeer-baiting hallucination.



Until that day comes, I will continue to consider you as one of the most unpleasant characters currently residing in seasonal fiction. Self-serving, spiteful, glib, megalomaniacal, bitter, elf-abusing, nog-chugging and with an unhealthy interest in both chimneys and the desires of the young. If you are such a pure and caring individual, sent to Earth to improve the lot of mankind, and you possess the power to deliver presents to the entire planet in a single night, then why do you not do that every night? Why does such a figure of perfection ration out his generosity in such a cruel and malicious way?



I will tell you why. Because you are vile. You singularly warp the weakened minds of infants into some vision of unquestioned worship, with the obtaining of mince pies and sherry as your one, despicable goal. How do you sleep at night? I mean, of course, the 364 nights of the year where you chose not to pander to the imbecilic and rather stay within the safe confines of your cosy grotto alongside your supposed spouse?



And then, I fear, we must turn to the question of Rudolph. A mutant. A crime against nature. A deformed animal freak that would be attacked with lit torches and pitchforks under any normal circumstances but instead is exploited to further both your treacherous brand and your disgusting, inhumane ideals that are destructive to decent human intellect. The world is explained by science, but nowhere in science is there a rational explanation for a deer with an illuminated nasal facility. It simply cannot be - just as you cannot be.



In conclusion - you are a charlatan. A supernatural presence that the phrase 'does not exist' is simply not strong enough. You have soiled the minds of a generation with your lies and mis-deeds, showering evil liberally on the world. I refuse to partake in this annual charade, praising your ability to read lists and successfully steer a sled. Until the day your existence is proven to me beyond all doubt, I will never believe in you. However, like all scientists, I must recognise the probability of miscalculation. If I happen to be wrong, and you do get this letter, then I would really like a Stretch Armstrong with detachable cape and a chemistry set. Just for me, I'm not sharing with Caitlin.



Yours with great dubiousness,



Little Ricky Dawkins (Aged 5 ¾)



Dale Shaw's collection of made-up correspondence, Letters of Not, is available now from Amazon or via LettersofNot.com. http://ift.tt/eA8V8J



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Brain Teaser 12/17/2014

Think about all the interesting fictional characters that are part of the Christmas season as you decode this cryptogram list.



LXAGGYD

AQMGBVE

UAL. XBKQL

SNOW SNU

SEADD TADOXE EDOL

SED YANOXE

XEKABND HAGJO

YDGAYD HKNBDW

MKLEDA

TAGLSW SED LOGJUKO

Solution

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Fan Shop: Everything for fans of the NCAA, NFL, MLB, NHL, NBA, MLS and much more.





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3d wooden brain teasers from craftypuzzles.com

Man Suffers Spectacular Treadmill Fail At The Gym, Recovers In The Most Brilliant Way Possible

There's 'shaking it off'.... and there's shaking it off.



Watch and learn, people. THIS is how you recover from a treadmill fail.

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