Wednesday, 17 December 2014

Poundland's Christmas Decorations Are Riddled With Spelling Mistakes

We hate to say you get what you pay for, but...










Yes, if it's beginning to look a lot like Shristmas in your house, that could be because you bought your decorations from Poundland.



Customers are bombarding the store's Twitter account with pictures of what can only be described as, well, 'top quality bunting'...
























And unfortunately, because of @Poundland's habit of writing 'Hi' before a tweeter's name when they reply to them, everyone can see what that person's been complaining about...










Which then leads to yet more pictures coming in...










Dear oh dear. You had one festive job, Poundland. Or should that be Pnoudlnad?



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from UK Comedy - The Huffington Post http://ift.tt/1vYHeoM
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Richard Dawkins Letter to Santa

Dear Fraud,



Actually no, scratch that, I'm afraid 'fraud' simply doesn't do this abomination justice. Let me rephrase.



Dear Judas,



Which has to be considered an even greater insult as we all know there was never such a thing as Jesus and anyway Judas was the closest thing to a hero in that particular fable of pointlessness.



Mrs Drennan has insisted that the entire class undertake this ridiculous assignment and pointlessly write a letter to you, someone I consider both a highly unreliable and thoroughly dangerous creature. I made my feelings about this abundantly clear and insisted that I be released from this noxious and deceitful chore. However, she has likewise made it clear that by failing to subscribe to this litany of excreta my access to the monkey bars will be severely curtailed, so I find myself having no choice.



My fellow classmates, in line with their expected juvenile thinking, will probably be appealing to you for various redundant trinkets and ludicrous fripperies. How sad they are. However, my Christmas wish to you, so called Saint Nicholas, is quite straightforward. Simply prove to me that you exist. Offer me a rational and unambiguous example of your reality and I will no longer treat you as a flamboyant, bearded, reindeer-baiting hallucination.



Until that day comes, I will continue to consider you as one of the most unpleasant characters currently residing in seasonal fiction. Self-serving, spiteful, glib, megalomaniacal, bitter, elf-abusing, nog-chugging and with an unhealthy interest in both chimneys and the desires of the young. If you are such a pure and caring individual, sent to Earth to improve the lot of mankind, and you possess the power to deliver presents to the entire planet in a single night, then why do you not do that every night? Why does such a figure of perfection ration out his generosity in such a cruel and malicious way?



I will tell you why. Because you are vile. You singularly warp the weakened minds of infants into some vision of unquestioned worship, with the obtaining of mince pies and sherry as your one, despicable goal. How do you sleep at night? I mean, of course, the 364 nights of the year where you chose not to pander to the imbecilic and rather stay within the safe confines of your cosy grotto alongside your supposed spouse?



And then, I fear, we must turn to the question of Rudolph. A mutant. A crime against nature. A deformed animal freak that would be attacked with lit torches and pitchforks under any normal circumstances but instead is exploited to further both your treacherous brand and your disgusting, inhumane ideals that are destructive to decent human intellect. The world is explained by science, but nowhere in science is there a rational explanation for a deer with an illuminated nasal facility. It simply cannot be - just as you cannot be.



In conclusion - you are a charlatan. A supernatural presence that the phrase 'does not exist' is simply not strong enough. You have soiled the minds of a generation with your lies and mis-deeds, showering evil liberally on the world. I refuse to partake in this annual charade, praising your ability to read lists and successfully steer a sled. Until the day your existence is proven to me beyond all doubt, I will never believe in you. However, like all scientists, I must recognise the probability of miscalculation. If I happen to be wrong, and you do get this letter, then I would really like a Stretch Armstrong with detachable cape and a chemistry set. Just for me, I'm not sharing with Caitlin.



Yours with great dubiousness,



Little Ricky Dawkins (Aged 5 ¾)



Dale Shaw's collection of made-up correspondence, Letters of Not, is available now from Amazon or via LettersofNot.com. http://ift.tt/eA8V8J



from UK Comedy - The Huffington Post http://ift.tt/1wgl4Uf
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Brain Teaser 12/17/2014

Think about all the interesting fictional characters that are part of the Christmas season as you decode this cryptogram list.



LXAGGYD

AQMGBVE

UAL. XBKQL

SNOW SNU

SEADD TADOXE EDOL

SED YANOXE

XEKABND HAGJO

YDGAYD HKNBDW

MKLEDA

TAGLSW SED LOGJUKO

Solution

||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

Fan Shop: Everything for fans of the NCAA, NFL, MLB, NHL, NBA, MLS and much more.





from A Daily Brain Teaser http://ift.tt/1J1Ks5m

3d wooden brain teasers from craftypuzzles.com
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Man Suffers Spectacular Treadmill Fail At The Gym, Recovers In The Most Brilliant Way Possible

There's 'shaking it off'.... and there's shaking it off.



Watch and learn, people. THIS is how you recover from a treadmill fail.

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from UK Comedy - The Huffington Post http://ift.tt/1GP8Cw5
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Woman Tries To Pose For A Selfie With Megatron, Gets More Than She Bargained For

This man - sorry, Transformer - may be our new hero.



When a fan approaches him to take a selfie with him at Universal Studios Hollywood, he berates her - and her generation.



"When will you learn that your status updates mean zero to nothing, to anyone, ever! It doesn't matter which social network you post it on. Worthless!" he rages.



"Use your mind. Create new memories. Interact. Don't just add it to a library of forgotten photographs," he continues. "Ugh. How disappointing your generation is."



Harsh, of course. But it is Megatron.



(Via Tastefully Offensive)

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from UK Comedy - The Huffington Post http://ift.tt/1wK58Zh
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The Apprentice 2015 Sneak Preview

We get an exclusive look at the contestants who'll be in Alan Sugar's firing line next year...



(Video made for HuffPost UK Comedy by Amanda Wilkie, David Schneider and Handface) http://ift.tt/eA8V8J



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Today in History for 17th December 2014

Historical Events


942 - Assassination of William I Longsword, 2nd Duke of Normandy.

1852 - 1st Hawaiian cavalry organized

1949 - Burma recognizes People's Republic of China

1961 - Niteroi Circus of Rio de Janeiro catches fire; 323 die

1977 - Bobby Simpson scores 176 Australia v India at the WACA, aged 41

2013 - Australia wins the 3rd test to take win the 2013-14 Ashes test cricket series


More Historical Events »


Famous Birthdays


1840 - Christian Frederik Emil Horneman, composer

1853 - Herbert Beerbohm Tree, England, actor/theater manager (Trilby)

1937 - Art Neville, New Orleans LA, vocalist (Neville Brothers)

1949 - Sotiris Kaiafas, Cypriot footballer

1971 - Tony Richardson, NFL fullback (KC Chiefs)

1980 - Ryan Hunter-Reay, American race car driver


More Famous Birthdays »


Famous Deaths


1829 - Bernard Jumentier, composer, dies at 80

1944 - Vassily V Kandinsky, Russian/German/French painter, dies

1965 - Tito [Raffaele A] Schipa, Italian tenor/composer (Rondine), dies at 76

1972 - Erwin Dressel, composer, dies at 63

1999 - Rex Allen, American actor, singer and songwriter (b. 1920)

2003 - Otto Graham, NFL Quarterback, dies of a heart aneurysm at 82


More Famous Deaths »






from Today in History | HistoryOrb.com http://ift.tt/VLo2JB
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